Editorial Review
Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, you could lose your children’s respect, their affection -- even, in extreme cases, contact with them.
Backed by twenty-five years of experience in helping families, Dr. Richard Warshak presents powerful strategies for dealing with everything from tainted parent-child relationships in which children are disrespectful or reluctant to show their affection to disturbances in which children virtually disown an entire side of the family.
Divorce Poison offers advice on how to:
- Recognize early warning signs of trouble
- React if your children refuse to see you
- Respond to rude and hateful behavior
- Avoid the seven most common errors made by rejected parents
This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental-health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.
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Customer Reviews
a MIRACULOUS help this book was! 
2007-09-24
We thought our situation with a 7-year old being in the middle of a divorce war was hopeless. I am very pleased to say that out of ALL the books, articles and online information I have read, Divorce Poison is truly the most thorough on the subject of brainwashing and deception, and was the most relevant to our situation. I was so touched by the book's relevance to me personally that I contacted Dr. Warshak to thank him for writing the book. Take the time to read it. Even a few sections if you can't read it all. It will be worth it!
This book is a must read for divorcing parents 2007-08-30
This is a subject I am all too familiar with. As a divorced mother of four, I know first hand the damage that can be inflicted on the children by a vindictive ex. Read this book and study it, it will give you the tools you need to cope with an ex-spouse who is out of control.
Christina Rowe
Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce
Hope for abused children and their true parent 2007-08-20
Thank you Dr. Warshak, you have given clarity to a mother's longing for help for her children with the abuse they suffer by their father. The corruption of reality section literally made me gasp as my children are told to ignore me when I use loving longterm nicknames as they are told I don't respect them. There is nothing about me and our relationship post-divorce that escapes denouncement by their father. While I am fortunate that my children have not been brainwashed into believing these terrible things, they suffer tremendous pain and frequently have panic attacks when transitioning to their father. I am less worried about my relationship with them than I am about their well being. If I could ask for some advice on how to help them when they are actually being abused, how to help them cope with it and not internalize it. While your advice is critical for dealing with the effects of the abuse, how to help them suffer through it when it is actually happening is something I request that you provide additional brilliant insight about.
Thank you so much for all you do for victims of abuse and the hope you
give to their parents.
This book should be a court ordered requirement for divorcing /divorced parents 2007-08-13
I purchased this book following a suggestion on a stepfamily related website.
I've read a great number of books over the years for work, college, and pleasure but this book is by far the best I've ever read.
This book should be a required read by family court judges, mediators, child daycare providers, child social workers, and teachers. It should also be a required read for parents in custody disputes or divorce litigation. It should be THE manual of parenting classes mandated by the family courts.
Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex
Very Informative 2007-08-05
Very eye opening. As a victim of divorce poison,I was told "These things happen." I felt very alone and helpless. This book gave me great insight as to reasons why someone would do this to their own children. It gives even better insight into why the children follow suit and what the long term effects are for them, the REAL victims.
This book gave me courage, knowledge and better yet, direction. I live in a small midwest town. Our court system, lawyers and even mental health professionals have yet to acknowlege PAS as anything other than what happens when adults divorce and put the children in the middle. I now feel that I know better how to handle myself with both my ex and my children.
I hope that ultimately the offenders get harsh penalties and or punishments. Reading this book and eduacating ourselves and then others involved in one very important step foward. Someone has to protect the children from this kind of abuse.
A very thankful mother..... 2008-01-23
I am a mother of an 11-year old girl and was recently involved in a very high-conflict divorce. My daughter was sytematically stripped of her "mother/daughter" memories which were then replaced with father/daughter memories that didn't exist.
I had no idea what was happening let alone knowing how to neutralize my daughter's anger and the degredation of our once loving and incredibly strong relationship. Then, I read "Divorce Poison." It was as if it was written just for us!
I followed every single suggestion Dr. Warshak had for parents in my particular situation, and it WORKED EXACTLY AS HE SAID IT WOULD!
Not only did it work, we are back on track and enjoy an even closer relationship. Thanks to Dr. Warshak, my daughter now knows to trust her own experiences - what SHE sees, what SHE hears, what SHE experiences - rather than what she is told of her experiences. Consequently, she is now BULLET-PROOFED against future manipulation, even though she is still confronted with manipulative situations. She sees the truth for the truth and has become very skilled at identifying what is not truthful. She has regained her deep trust in her mother and our unwavering/strong relationship.
THANK YOU DR. WARSHAK!
Superbly written, informative and very useful 2008-01-03
I've read many books in this area, but none as well written, authorative and useful as this one - it should be compulsorary reading for all parents, whether together or separated. The Take Action sections have practical steps that will really help you in your bewilderment and feelings of helplessness and remember that virtually all children benefit from the involvement of both of their parents, so never give up, no matter how hard the struggle or pointless it may all seem. Thankyou, Dr Warshak.
Finally, some actionable advice 2008-01-02
Over the past three years, my wife and I have consulted innumerable resources to help us address the toxic environment her ex has created and the poison he has injected into our children. Time after time, we were advised to "take the high road" and essentially do nothing. Even our child psychologist told us, "The kids are fine. They know what is going on and they are fine with both parents. There is no need to address what you think is going on." Meanwhile, our kids continue to blame my wife for breaking up their family, tell her they hate her, tell her she deserves to suffer, tell her she is not their mother anymore, tell her they want to hurt or kill her, reject any overture of affection, and exhibit most of the sypmptoms of alienation as described in the book. Until we came across this book, we were resigned to helplessly watch our children fade away from us and adopt their father's anger, hatred, and violence towards us.
Finding this book felt like a miracle. Every page felt like it was written for us and about us, specifically. In fact, we used the word "poison" to describe what the ex was doing, long before we found this book.
What makes "Divorce Poison" worth every penny are the recommendations for positive ways to take action in every situation and work towards eliminating or reducing the the pain, anger, and alienation. Without the insights and guidance found in the book, we would have continued splitting our time between doing nothing and responding to the children in ways that only served to strengthen their bond with their father and their resolve to hate us. It was also very reassuring to know that we were doing some things right, albeit not enough of the "right" things. By explaining the psychology behind the appropriate reactions, it became very clear what we need to do and say and how we need to do it.
If you are in a situation where your ex is poisoning your children and corrupting their hearts, I highly suggest you read this book. The damage done is not limited to your relationship with them. Because of the nature of the abuse, children carry these scars and distortions into their adult life. This poison will most likely compromise their ability to engage in healthy relationships for the rest of their lives, if the damage is not controlled or reversed.
I can not say enough good things about this book or the author. All I can do is highly recommend to anyone in this situation, to read this book.
Excellent content, much- needed help for parents 2007-12-16
This book covers an area I have not seen addressed in the literature, but which is often seen in clinical practice. It gives on-target, detailed descriptions of parental behavior ranging from mild alienation to full-blown, premeditated alientation. The author also provides practical ideas for combatting each level of behavior. His approach is to NOT be passive in the face of alienation attempts, which I agree is not helpful, in my clinical experience. Highly recommended for any divorcing parent.
Excellent read. 2007-12-03
I bought both this book and the one called FAMILY COURT HELL through amazon. If you read Divorce Poison first and FAMILY COURT HELL next, you actually see what harm is done to children where one parent tries to poison the childrens minds against the other parent. In FAMILY COURT HELL, a real life child access case that went on for ten years, the mother had spent all those years trying to turn her three little girls against their father. But eventually, the mother instead saw her daughters run away from her to be with the dad they still really loved and missed-the mother ended up losing out, and all through her own fault. Both books excellent reads and a must read for any parent whose ex is trying to turn the kids against them-or an ex thinking of trying to poison the kids minds!.
