Editorial Review
Ten steps to surviving a family rift, finding peace, and moving on
A family rift is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can face. It can have a profound effect on virtually every aspect of life, causing depression, relationship problems, and even physical illness. Healing From Family Rifts offers hope to those coping with a split in their families. Family therapist Mark Sichel addresses the pain and shame connected with family rifts and offers a way through the crisis and on toward healing and fulfillment. Uniquely, Sichel does not assume that every rift will or even should be mended. Instead, he offers ways to recover from any outcome, including:
- A 10-step process to come to terms with the family dynamics that led to the split
- Methods to find peace and personal reconciliation
- Skills that help to build a second family of people whose values are in line with one's own
- Techniques to fight feelings of guilt when faced with a family rift
- Includes inspiring and instructive stories drawn from the author's patients that help readers put their own situations in perspective.
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Customer Reviews
Good Insights 
2008-03-02
This book is helpful to those of us in similar estranged family situations, especially since it's a topic most are reluctant to talk about. Knowing others are dealing with the same issues was helpful.
Good, but still lacking 
2008-01-05
The experience of being cut off by one's family is extremely painful. Mark Sichel captures that experience well and helps the reader mitigate the shock and initial pain of that experience. However, the means for resolving the situation is lacking, not because it should be resolved easily, but because of the dichotomous thinking the author uses to explain the problem--the roles family members play as "injustice collectors" and "people pleasers". These roles are cast as solid and entrenched: one is "either-or". Sichel also states that those who read the book are likely to be "people pleasers", which makes me a people pleaser--a good guy. However, I'm left wondering if the roles are as rigid as Sichel makes them--can an "injustice collector" also be a "people pleaser"? How can we best deal with family rifts without re-casting each other into these roles? Family rifts seem much more complex than the author recognizes.
A Must Read 
2008-01-03
This is by far the best book I have read on this subject. He takes a practical approach to the problem but also offers solutions if the rift cannot be mended. The book helped me enormously during one of the most painful experiences of my life. I would recommend it to anyone struggling with family dysfunction.
excellent book 2007-08-23
What drew me to this book was the fact the author is a psychologist and has been through this experience himself. He can totally relate. The advice is sound and I now sleep better at night and am at peace with myself regarding current rifts in my family. I have recommended this book to others. There is some very good advice here.
outstanding 2007-02-22
Most family estrangement books and "experts" insist that blood relatives must reconcile at any cost, and blame must always be shared: you may be blameless or a victim, but you must make concessions until peace is made. But that peace is often temporary, since only you, not other members, are forced to change. Challenging this "blood-above-all" sentiment is one of our last taboos. Besides discussing the usual healing methods, this book covers, in an accepting and understanding way, what to do when reconciliation isn't possible. There is no judgment present, only a deep acceptance of those rifts that are ultimately unmendable and sympathetic support for those suffering grief because of them. It offers ways to survive permanent rifts, such as choosing & creating your own new family. (Unfortunately, the family members who buy & read these books are usually NOT the ones who most need to read them: those "externalizers" always blaming others and usually causing the rifts.)
Life changing book. 2006-07-21
Ten steps to surviving a family rift, finding peace, and moving on
A family rift is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can face. It can have a profound effect on virtually every aspect of life, causing depression, relationship problems, and even physical illness. Healing From Family Rifts offers hope to those coping with a split in their families. Family therapist Mark Sichel addresses the pain and shame connected with family rifts and offers a way through the crisis and on toward healing and fulfillment. Uniquely, Sichel does not assume that every rift will or even should be mended. Instead, he offers ways to recover from any outcome, including:
- A 10-step process to come to terms with the family dynamics that led to the split
- Methods to find peace and personal reconciliation
- Skills that help to build a second family of people whose values are in line with one's own
- Techniques to fight feelings of guilt when faced with a family rift
- Includes inspiring and instructive stories drawn from the author's patients that help readers put their own situations in perspective.
Concrete and constructive help 2005-06-14
If you are experiencing a rupture in the family,I hope you do get Mark Sichel's book, Healing from Family Rifts. I did. I wish I had it years ago. After 11 years of learning to deal with my only child's addiction, and surviving a divorce after 24 years of marriage, Mark's book is opening up new avenues of exploration for my own life.
There is great information and concrete ideas throughout Sichel's book. There are ideas to implement that help us deal with the problems involved in family estrangement. We discover ways to make meaning out of our experience - a meaning from which we can grow as individuals. Mark's ten step program gives us a way out of the trauma we have experienced. It will make you think. And thinking about our lives is always a positive good. As Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." Mark helps us examine our lives.
I highly recommend Healing from Family Rifts for anyone dealing with family dysfunction and fracture. We've got nothing to lose but that pain we are feeling. We do have everything to gain - most importantly, our lives.
This book is a must-read 2004-10-14
Mark Sichel's book offers practical and helpful advice from the first chapter to the last. I read about the book in the Ask Amy column in my newspaper (she replaced Ann Landers), bought it here, and have devoured it. His insight, compassion, and courage to share his personal experiences helped me to not feel crazy about the situation with my own family, and his practical suggestions for repairing a fractured family are like a Bible for the dysfunctional family. I highly recommend this book. I think other readers who have been suffering as I had will feel relieved, calmer, and saner after reading Sichel's book. If you're having estrangement issues or chronic feuding with your family, this is the book for you.
Healing From Family Rifts 2004-07-06
With insight and compassion, the author sensititvely explores the highly-charged world of those affected by family rifts. The book is made all the more powerful as the author reveals his personal experience with this devasting experience. The book offers a clear understanding of how family rifts come to be and provides workable solutions. A compassionate and down-to-earth handbook. And a must-read for those seeking to better understand the human condition.
Insightful and liberating 2004-04-30
I was impressed by how the author outlined the effects and underlying trauma that accompany a family rift. Such insights are really helpful and useful in understanding how to move on from the feelings of paralysis that often accompany rifts. Rarely does a book leave you feeling that a problem is much more manageable, but this one does. I have gotten copies for family members and friends.
