Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall. A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated

Customer Reviews

Where are the consequences?

2008-04-22
After several recommendations by friends with teens, I've almost finished this book after a couple of days of reading. Helpful points include the reminders to not engage in pointless arguments and to state my position clearly and concisely and not to lecture. My problem with the book is the lack of any apparent consequences for bad behavior. Teen comes in an hour past curfew? Re-state the appropriate curfew time and move on. Teen lies about grades on homework? Overlook the lie and re-state expectations about homework. Teen calls parent a f-ing b*tch? Ignore the name calling and remain silent. While I agree it creates ongoing conflict to call kids out on these behaviors and punish them, I think that is a necessary part of the landscape and to think otherwise is unrealistically permissive.

Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated

2008-04-09
After having yet another argument with my 12-year old on why she needed to do her chores and homework instead of playing on the computer she threw at me the old "I hate living here and wish I could live with Dad!" So I went onto Amazon.com in search of a book that would solve the mysteries of why my lovable little girl was turning into a monster before my eyes. I ordered "Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated" and couldn't put it down. If reinforced many of the parental decisions and rules I have already made and gave me insight and ideas on how to deal with other situations. Most of all, I feel it somewhat prepared me for "what is to come." I also loved that the book explained the differences between how adolescence affects boys and girls. I have 2 stepsons, 12-year old twins and did not realize the differences in how they do and will react to things compared to my daughter. After finishing the book, I handed it off to my husband and told him he needed to read it too!

Good advise and insight.

2008-04-08
The CD's were easy to listen to and make alot of sense. I look forward to the time when my children outgrow this stage, but the insights given by the author and practical ways of communicating with teenage daughters has been helpful in cutting back on the stress in our home.

informative and funny

2008-04-06
I was immediatly drawn to this book because I have had many of the same converstions with my daughter and felt good knowing that I am not going through it alone.

Do you have a teen? Read this book!

2008-04-06
This is a must read for parents who have a young teen. With humor and dead on descriptions, he captures the angst and worry a parent feels when their loving child turns into a silent, morose, ungrateful, crazed, possessed being. After reading this I breathed a sigh of relief that it was all to be expected and even the nastiest child can turn into a fabulous adult. Did we ever doubt it? Read this book and be saved.

Condescending and detrimental - the view from a real "new teenager"

2008-04-04
This is a survival guide for parents who find themselves marooned among volatile and incomprehensible aliens on Planet Teen. Area maps cover the obvious ground--there are chapters on school, sex, suicide, and so on--but it's the title of Chapter 2, "What They Do and Why," that best captures the book's spirit and technique. Anthony Wolf's modus operandi is not so much to make pronouncements about what parents should do, as to explain adolescent behavior in a way that's bound to leave parents with a changed view of the plausible options. Wolf is a clinical psychologist, and his writing is clear--even witty--and he doesn't resort to jargon. The expository text is punctuated with snatches of illustrative dialogue, which serve as concrete examples and help parents learn how to see, anticipate, and avoid "bad strategies." (One key mistake is getting dragged into no-win conflicts instead of having the wisdom to shut up at the moment when shutting up would be most effective--albeit the least satisfying--thing to do.) There are also some nicely tongue-in-cheek samples of "ideal" communication--the stuff we imagine might get said if only we were better parents. After one such rosily cooperative and considerate interchange between a father and his adolescent son, Wolf offers the following two-edged comfort: "The above conversation has never happened. Never. Not in the whole history of the world." Message: Parenting adolescents is inherently difficult. Don't judge your efforts by otherworldly standards. --Richard Farr

The Most Helpful Teen Book I've Found Yet.....

2008-04-03
I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about teens and behavior problems....this book is the best that I've found. I have also read Love and Logic which seems to be another highly reviewed and time-tested book. I can do without the religious bend of Love and Logic although it also has some good insights.

Get out of my life...was helpful just in that you start to understand why teens act the way they do, and why it seems so much worse "these days". Wolf explains this in a very comprehensible manner.....so that after a few pages you really start to get it. Just feeling that you are not alone in this really difficult age of parenting is reason enough to buy this book! But the author goes into detail about every sort of topic that you can think of, and as an open-minded parent, the book really resonated with me. Wolf manages to write in a humerous way as well. His basic premise is that most teens are going to go through a "bad" stage....just how bad will depend on the individual, and that basically, teens are going to lie and sneak around at times but it doesn't mean you are a failure as a parent or that they will never "grow out of it". The author asserts that we should try to limit the opportunities that teens have to be bad, but that "individuating" a.k.a "being rebellious" is part and parcel of growing up especially in our media-saturated and kid-emboldened culture. Not that we are to let them do whatever they want....Dr. Wolf offers lots of ideas and suggestion as to how to manage certain behaviors, but the common theme is keep communication open, otherwise kids just shut down. So far I have found this to be true with my own daughter, even before reading this book confirmed it. One very big difference Wolf has in his book compared to Love and Logic was on school and homework--he says if you want them to get it done...be ready to put in your own time supervising, this also goes along with my line of thinking whereas the Love and Logic idea is that if they won't do the work, they take the consequence of failing. Also Dr. Wolf's book I thought was much more realistic about sex....kids are going to experiment with one another and maybe have sex, so we need to educate, educate, educate.

Must have for parents of teens!

2008-03-27
I absolutely loved this book. I highly recommend it for anyone that loves, yet struggles w/their teens! It is a well written, humorous book. It has been extremely helpful in aiding us to understand the behavior of teenagers.

Here's Help When You Need It

2008-02-18
One of the biggest mistakes that today's parent makes is to act as if the parenting methods they were raised with will work on their own children. As this author shows, today's teenage is different. VERY different.They are not like you and me, the world is a very different place, and the stresses they endure today are beyond most parents'comprehension.

Which is why you should buy this book. The author, Anthony Wolf goes a long way toward helping parents understand why their children are bolder, less obedient, and willing to speak up and out when under great stress. The truth is, they are. With divorce rates soaring as high as 65% for first marriages and up to 85% for second marriages, no wonder Dr. Wolf's advice is needed more now than ever before.

Parents of today's "new teenagers" need to alter their parenting skills to be the role model that their children can follow. Wolf's book can help. Most adults think teenagers are trying to be difficult and make life miserable. What they want, says the author is love, guidance, and compassion. Not tough love. He helps parents understand why teenagers act the way that they do and offers ways to handle lying, breaking the rules teen sex, use of alcohol or drugs, or a threat of suicide.

In my work, parents often ask for help with parenting. I'm happy to recommend this book.

Alexia Parks, TeenLiberty.org/ author of An American GULAG, Secret P.O.W. Camps for Teens

Excellent Advice!

2008-02-08
I found this book extremely helpful! I was constantly arguing with my teenage daughter and things have improved significantly since I read this book. Anthony Wolf offers both comfort and great advice for relating to your child. I found the chapter on conflict especially helpful as it allowed me to understand what goes on in the teen mind! I would recommend this book to anybody with a teenager and plan to re-read it when my younger daughter enters adolescence.