Effective Parenting for the Hard to Manage Child. A Skills Based Book

Editorial Review

Parents of children who are intense and extreme in their responses to everyday experiences often lack the resources necessary to target an effective treatment plan. Effective Parenting for the Hard-to-Manage Child is a skills-based book for parents, which focuses on specific treatment strategies for infants through school-aged children who are intense, highly reactive to stimulation, and unable to self-calm. Some of these children seek intensity in interactions while others simply withdraw completely from the outside world; either way, they are inflexible and unable to adapt to change. Their responses are often inconsistent and unpredictable, making parenting challenging as typical methods may not work for every child.

This book addresses the varying ways that these children behave, and provides in-depth analysis and discussion of the particular problems and techniques to help parents understand what might work for their child. The authors have integrated treatment approaches from the fields of infant/child mental health, behavioral therapy, and sensory integration, and their text is written in an accessible and clear manner that will help summarize behavioral strategies. With a particular emphasis on key concepts that will help the children take charge of their problems, the authors seek to help parents learn the process of self-regulation. With thorough, specific, and relatable material included in the book, it is an invaluable resource for parents who need advice from experts without all the jargon and generalizations.

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Customer Reviews

Practical, Intelligent, Easy-to-Use Guide

2008-01-03
All parents want a happy, confident child, but, contrary to what the Christmas letter may suggest, few are lucky enough to raise the perfect problem-free child. This book dispels the notion of perfect (You are not perfect. Your child is not perfect. Get over it.) Instead, the book helps parents understand why the child acts the ways he does and offers practical--and often fun--activities and exercises to deal with the hard-to-manage child.

Written with empathy and respect for both the parent and the child, the book is divided into chapters that address the intense irritable child, the oppositional child, and the clueless, disorganized child, with separate chapters devoted to children who suffer from sensory overload, anxiety, depression, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Case histories bolster the understanding of specific problems.

Helpful tips are broken out in boxes. Feeling guilty about using rewards to get your child to eat new foods or do his homework? It is very reassuring to read the tip: Bribery is the term used for something illegal or immoral.

What sets the book apart and makes it so useful to both parents and--I'm guessing here--therapists, is the Toolbox, a lengthy section of dozens and dozens of activities and exercises to address the problems of the hard-to-manage child.

Here you will find ways to help a child calm down, build self-esteem, manage out-of-control behavior, and improve interpersonal skills. The toolbox also contains suggestions to help parents provide structure and deal with the many battles around homework, mealtime and bedtime. The tools for developing responsibility and cooperation for chores are usefully broken into different age categories.

If you are perfect or your child is perfect, you will not need this book. As for me, it's on my reference shelf but may not stay there, for I've already lent it out twice.

An absolute must read!!

2007-12-22
This book is an absolute must read for anyone who interacts with children, either professionally or personally. Drs. DeGangi and Kendall do a beautiful job of explaining how and why children can be challenging as well as offering simple and straightforward solutions for parents and professionals. Their abilities to make incredibly frustrating and overwhelming scenarios with children (and we know what they are!) manageable and treatable is simply priceless. Their styles are highly informative, entertaining, witty and humorous. The language is perfectly accessible for professionals, family members and curious bystanders. I promise you will laugh and cry at the stories and find yourself somewhere in the book.

I particularly found two features of this book to be incredibly useful and unique: 1) the 2-page `How to Use This Book' helps the reader to navigate the material and to select relevant sections as needed and 2) the `Toolbox' (praise the toolbox!). The Toolbox is the most fabulous creation in this book and provides the reader with skills and ideas to use IMMEDIATELY. It's essentially the authors combined years of experience/training/expertise condensed into one invaluable chapter. Furthermore, each tool has its own motif which is scattered throughout the book alerting the reader along the way to its helpful tips.

As someone who works and plays with children, I wish I had this book years ago as part of my clinical training. I appreciate the straightforward explanations and easy to implement solutions. I have already started to utilize many of the ideas in the book with great success. Furthermore, it has provided me with a language and resource to share with parents I work with as well as family and friends who have children. This book is not just a great tool for difficult to treat children, but for all children. I can't recommend it enough!

More down-to-earth than other parenting books

2007-12-14
What I really like about this book is that it is clear and straightforward and kind. The authors set out the many types of kids who are hard to parent, and then give you ideas for how to help you help your kid to be better adjusted to the world. The book is actually helping me to not feel so overwhelmed as a mom, even though one of the chapters is about helping kids who get overwhelmed!
It is a useful, practical book filled with ideas you can start putting into practice right away. I will recommend this book to friends and I reccommend it to you.