Abused Boys. The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse

Customer Reviews

If you are looking for what to "NOT" look for in a therapist...

2007-12-05
then buy this book and take serious note.

As a survivor there are so many things about this book that I found offensive.

It is a testament to just how little literature there is available out there that this book or any portion of it might be used as reference material for any other publication.

The author comes across as self important and arrogant...exactly what survivors do not need.

I was deeply disappointed...but it was useful in what "NOT" to look for in a therapist. Five minutes with Hunter and any reasonable survivor interested in recovery would surely recognize that.

a heap of rubbish with a diamond at its core

2004-11-29
This book is an insult to one's intelligence. The subject matter is incredibly important and the data conveyed by the book is impeccable and relevant. But the mode of delivery is atrocious. It is a book full of cliches. One would think that the sexual abuse of males would drive us to the outer limits of intelligence and imagination. This book utterly fails in that drive. Surely better books exist that deal with this dread topic?

Powerful, powerful, powerful...

2004-08-30
...for any man who has ever been abused, or anyone who loves such a man, this book is a must. It progressively defines abuse, the abused's recognition of it, how as an adult it defines him and his relationships with others, and how he deals with his recovery. The real-life testimonies included in the book put all of the matter-of-fact information into personal perspective.

Two themes which are reinforced throughout are that recovery is a process, not an event, and requires a lot of work; and, that one can ultimately redirect their emotional energy away from hate, anger and doubt to more productive uses, which will aid and reinforce the healing process.

The book is not very long and is an interesting read from the start. I would highly recommend it to all counselors.

Abused Boys : The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse

2004-01-13
This book is a welcome addition to our sparse literature about the sexual abuse of boys. It is well organized, easy to read, and the author is both knowledgeable and sympathetic. He emphasizes that there is no such thing as a "willing" victim and refuses to indulge in victim-blaming, as so often happens to male survivors

However, I strongly discourage survivors from using this book, at least early in their recovery process. The author acknowledges the need for recovery groups to be screened to avoid the inclusion of inappropriate persons in a group, yet failed to do so for his readers and included a story by a survivor/perpetrator. This story is told in the typical detached way of a survivor, and although a young perpetrator, the crimes he commits are among the most heinous in the book. As a female survivor myself, the story resulted in a period of dissociation - something that has not happened to me in 10 years.

Although many perpetrators were themselves victims at one time, these are two very different patient populations and for the sake of fragile survivors the two should not be mixed. I am surprised at the author's lapse in judgment.

TV

Two books - buy it for the first half. 2002-08-01
PERSONAL CRITIQUE: Many reviewers use this space for long-winded self-examination of their lives, rather than to review the quality of the book. This space isn't group therepy. Let's get into the book itself:

I found this title an interesting mix of professional insights and tragic stories with an odd titulating quality.

The first half of the book was an informative entry into what Abuse is. The definitions, as a layperson, was quite an eye-opener. Even subjects such as voyerism can be concidered Abuse when taken to extreems- and I now agree. Yet, one theme is clear. The shame that results from Child Abuse cripples the victum and leads to so many problems. I recommend the first half for those with an eye for helping others and themselves.

The second half, used to illustrate as if with case studies, is questionable. Some of the stories were jouneys of self-discovery, pain and healing. They tear at your heart and Mic's commentaries help share insights that I would miss. Yet I felt I was invading these patient's privacy or, in some cases, the subjects were boasting about their extreem perversity.

One such story was a boy on the farm who was almost proud of how he had forced sex upon other caddies at the golf range, boys on other farms, visitors from the city, animals under his care. He had more than one forced sexual encounter with his father as the preditor. He admitted to having sex five times daily at about 13 and 14 years old. It was as if he derived pleasure from confessing all these infractions in detail and then proclaiming how ashamed he was.

Can someone at that age be an adolecent sexual preditor and not draw attention to themselves publicly? I am sure teachers, police and the golf range managers would have heard something about this in all that time, however he never runs afoul of authority. Later in life, he was incarcerated for a number of child abuse crimes, but I question his ability to stay clear of the law as an adolecent and I question the truthfulness of his confession.

The title has value as a tool for self-examination and process of healing. I think that almost everyone has a story of violation in their childhood, something at school, the swimming pool or playground. For the most part, those episodes have little tramatic impact in our lives as adults. This book is for those who have life-shattering betrayals of trust in their childhoods. However I am concerned about the last half feeding the very behavior that it condemns. Therefore I can only offer a lukewarm recommendation.

Abused Boys : The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse 2002-03-07
A long overdue book by a psychologist who has extensive clinical experience treating male victims of child sexual abuse, it explodes the myth that sexual abuse of male children is rare, or that the consequences are less serious than for girls. Hunter examines the physical and emotional impact of abuse on its victims and the factors affecting revovery. With personal case histories of victims and their families, this is a powerfully written and meticulously researched book that is a landmark in the field of child sexual abuse literature.

This book covers all the bases 2000-11-24
I am a sex offender, a convicted felon for sexually assaulting my son, who purchased this book as part of my painful, earnest search for a full understanding of what I did to this little boy. I've purchased and read a slew of other books, many of which were helpful in giving one grief-filling insight of harm or another, but - hands down - this book by Hunter wraps it all up better than any I've seen. Not only does he cover a wide range of ways men and women abusers set up, groom and intimidate their child victims, but he chronicles all the ways the child victim is psychologically damaged for life, and gives you the clinical terms for the various types of disorders; he makes it clear how counseling/therapy CAN help, but also that there will still be scars for life. He has written this book not only for the since-grown-up victims to read and understand objectively what they have suffered and are still suffering, but also for the spouses/partners/lovers of those grown-up boy victims; he "speaks" directly to both those victims and their partners with end-of-chapter questions as well as mid-chapter scenarios that is sure to be very, very helpful. For me, as an anguished, grief stricken father-offender, this book really brought it all "home" to me as what .... I had wrought, and upon finishing reading, makes all my previous empathizing - which I thought was "100%" - look more like minimizing my crime. Although I was not sexually abused in any of the classic ways as a child, the extensive discussion of the ways parents can sexually abuse without touching (consciously or sub-consciously) made me realize for the first time in my quest and treatment process that why, yes, I HAD been abused and crippled in ways that I had not understood before reading Hunter' book. I would highly recommend this to any adult who cares deeply about any specific person who has been - or may have been - sexually abused. This is a book which will be heavily loaned among needy friends, I am certain!

One of the most emotionally draining books I've ever read 2000-10-22
I worked for the Denver District Attorney's Office as part of the Intake Unit. In the five years I was there, Denver filed an average of roughly 5,500 felony cases per year; I reviewed the vast majority of those cases - everything from murder to sexual assault.

After I had been with the office for several years, I read a case involving a young boy who had been sexually assaulted by his twenty year-old uncle. As I reviewed the file, it dawned on me that I had seen very few male-on-male sexual assaults. And of that very small amount, most of the cases were prison rape. During my five year tenure, I remember seeing less than five cases of sexual assaults on boys (either by males or females).

That struck me as odd. Denver saw its share of sexual assaults on children, to the tune of several per week during the summer months [parents: do yourselves and your kids a favor - stay away from water parks; they're hunting grounds], yet 99.9% of the victims were girls. Granted the number of assaults I saw only represented REPORTED assaults, I knew, logically, that the number of male victims had to be significantly higher than what I was seeing. I made a mental note to look into this topic.

That's how I came across this book. I was never a victim of sexual assault, so I thought this book might be a good, academic, supplemental read. I could not have been more wrong. To read this book is to go through a gut wrenching experience - even for somebody who has been privy to the unedited ugly side of human nature as I have. I honestly believe most men, straight or gay, have no concept of what it would be like to be repeatedly forced to have sex with another man. This book explains why male sexual victims rarely come forward: the sense of shame, humiliation, and fear combine with the societal taboos of incest, child molestation and homosexuality.

It is a powerful book.

Dan Lobnitz - University of Denver College of Law (2L)

Hard book to go through but good one at the same time 2000-08-29
This is the hardest book I have ever read and I have read some very hard books. This is what makes it so good - it hits home. As a survivor of a pedophilic scoutmaster, I never found much comfort discussing what happened to me and people usually tried to say something for a "bandaid" fix. This book explains why I had the feelings I did and how to overcome them. Much appreciation to the author.

This is a tough book to go through 2000-01-17
This book is a welcome addition to a population that has been ignored; Sexual abused males. About 1 in 7 men were sexual abused.

Mic Hunters book helps by first letting you know you are not alone. Then he dissects Sexual Abuse in categories

1. What is sexual abuse (You will be surprised because sometimes it is subtle and misinterpreted.) How it affects your everyday life (Oh and it does.) What are the recovery issues and how to start healing the affected areas of your life. (Like if you don't know where to go, this has information on groups and organizations who can help.)

2.) Survival Stories of other Survivors (because that is what you want to be a Survivor not a Victim) This is the most powerful part of the book. There are many different stories so any person suffering from the abuse is bound to find a similar story.

Because of the sensitive subjectthe book may be difficult to read . I read some parts and had to stop because it was getting too intense.

I would strongly advise this book in your collection. hope this has been helpful.