Editorial Review
If You Love Your Mate but Your Marriage Seems to Be Off Track, Then This Book Is for YouPsychologist John Gottman has spent 20 years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage.
You'll also learn:
* More sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage
* Frequent arguing will not lead to divorce
* Financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship
* Wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years
* There is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments -- and there's a way around it
Dr. Gottman tells you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage -- contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling -- and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and -- Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.
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Customer Reviews
Saving the relationship 
2008-01-18
An excellent book for couples wanting to learn how to proceed in bettering their relationship without the assistance of a professional. Although using the book with the assistance of a professional seems to have better outcomes.
Positive advice on strengthening your marriage 
2007-10-01
If you and your spouse are screaming at each other over what color to paint the downstairs bathroom, it might be a sign that your marriage is in danger - but then again, it might not. The fact that you argue is not the issue. Problems, conflicts and disagreements are inevitable and unavoidable in life and in a marriage. The key to a stable, healthy marriage is the way you air and resolve conflict. Dr. John Gottman studied hundreds of couples for more than 20 years to identify what, if anything, healthy and failing marriages have in common. Based on his research, the most innovative part of the book, he believes that he can predict with 94% accuracy which couples will stay together and which ones will fall apart. Failing marriages tend to follow the same downward spiral, a path that leads to loneliness, anger, negativity and, eventually, dissolution. Recognizing these destructive communication patterns is the first step back to a healthy relationship. Gottman's research, conclusions and recommendations hold up surprisingly well. We recommend his timeless advice to couples who want to avoid - or address - marital pitfalls.
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail 2007-07-14
An excellent book with a lot of worthy information. Enjoyed it.
Authors of "Creating Your own way to Happiness.
Based on research with over 3000 couples 2007-07-09
Many marraige manuals are a therapist or educators ideas from their expereince with on couples seeking therapy. This is based on research on all types of couples, studied from various perspectives to determine what works and what doesn't. Great questionnaires for your and your partner to complete and help identify challenges that you may need to overcome, and suggests ways to work it out. All couples are different, but the more different you are the more you each have to adapt to make the marriage work. This book helps with both, identifying what work needs to be done and helping to learn what to do to make repairs.
Good buy! 2007-03-30
After reading this book, I feel that it was worth it. Although no book is going to make a marriage perfect, this is very informative on different relationship styles and pitfalls.
Why Marriages Succed or Fail 2008-07-10
If you are wanting excellent and easy reading on marriage, commonications and relationships in general buy any and everything by John Gottman
Why Marriages Succeed Or Fail - John Gottman 2008-07-02
This book provides excellent advice that is laid out logically, and is easy to understand and implement. A few simple changes can improve how your interact with your spouse.
This book succeeds! 2008-06-27
I use this book in working with couples planning to marry or when couples struggle, and they ALWAYS find answers. Gottman's style is respectable and accessible for "everyman," while still maintaining heady content for professionals. I recommend it for couples looking to learn better fighting styles and communication patterns, for pastors and professionals who work with couples in trouble, and for people trying to set the rules before they actually play the game. Great text!
Extensively Researched with Great Insights! 2008-06-13
John Gottman is a respected expert on relationships who has done extensive research with married couples over the past two decades to determine why couples stay together or part. Although Gottman's book is about marriage, it also has some excellent insights for understanding some of the important dynamics of long-term courting relationships. The book provides many exercises, quizzes, techniques and tips to understand and improve courting relationships.
Gottman notes that his years of research show that a lasting marriage results from a couple's ability to resolve the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship. He also notes that there are three different styles of conflict resolution that healthy couples usually adopt. They are: the validating marriage (couples compromise and calmly work out their problems attempting to satisfy both people), the conflict-avoiding marriage (couples agree to disagree and rarely confront issues head on), and the volatile marriage (couples conflict often and the results are passionate disputes).
John Gottman also discusses what he calls "The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse." These are the dangerous ways of interacting that sabotage attempts to communicate. They are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.
Well written and informative, Gottman's research has uncovered some worthwhile and thought provoking ideas on long-term relationships. Understanding these concepts can be helpful when trying to understand oneself and when exploring long-term compatibility with a companion.
I found many useful concepts throughout the book. Overall a powerful work on strenthening relationships!
The Re-Discovery of Common Sense: A Guide to: The Lost Art of Critical Thinking
Recommended by a Professional 2008-06-02
This book was recommended by our Marriage Counselor. We went through counseling 5 years ago, and have had a wonderful marriage ever since. This book (at least ideas from it), helped tremendously... but you have to read it together, open up your mind to all ideas, take it to heart, and be willing to change.
