Staying Connected to Your Teenager. How to Keep Them Talking to You and How to Hear What They're Really Saying

Editorial Review

At last, a book of sage advice that will help frustrated parents reconnect with their teenager and keep that connection even in today's often-crazy world.The first step is simple: realizing that inside every teen resides two very different people-the regressed child and the emergent adult. The emergent adult is seen at school, on the playing field, in his first job, and in front of his friends' families. Unfortunately, his parents usually see only the regressed child-moody and defiant-and, if they're not on the lookout, they'll miss seeing the more agreeable, increasingly adult thinker in their midst.With ingenious strategies for coaxing the more attractive of the two teen personalities into the home, family psychologist Mike Riera gives new hope to beleaguered and harried parents. From moving from a "managing" to a "consulting" role in a teen's life, from working with a teen's uniquely exasperating sleep rhythms to having real conversations when only monosyllables have been previously possible, Staying Connected to Your Teenager demonstrates ways to bring out the best in a teen-and, consequently, in an entire family.

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Customer Reviews

staying in touch with your teenager

2008-07-18
I found this book to be very interesting although a bit hard to understand in some areas but I did receive some very good information with dealing with teenagers especially boys all in all a very good book for parents who have difficult teenagers.

This is my teenagers owner's manual!

2008-03-10
Anyone with a teenager(s)in the house should do whatever is neccessary to make the time to read this book! I am only a few pages from finishing this book and this is as close to an "OWNER'S MANUAL" about teenagers as you're going to get. It will help you to better understand what's going on inside your amazing teen and enable you to help him/her through a most awkward (not to mention dangerous) stage of life. I wouldn't make your teen aware that you're reading this though, because there's alot of great info that a parent needs to know but may not want the teen to know that you know, if you know what I mean. And if you remember being a teen and think that will help you dealing with your teen, guess again. The problem is that when we were teens we didn't know the reasons for all the things that went on in our bodies as well as our lives. This book makes it all crystal clear, and understanding is the key to safety and harmony for you and your teen. If you love them and would like to regain your sanity read this book ASAP!

stay connected to teenager

2007-12-29
It really helps to be able to feel you are doing as much as you can. Reading a book that is detached from your situation helps you to look at a problem in a different way and see the obvious.....which was lost when in the heat of your own problems.

Great for the teen, even better for the parent

2007-12-19
I have recommended this book to every parent I know of a teen or preteen. It not only provides tips and "tricks" for setting up communication opportunities, but also really helps parents to not take certain teen behaviors personally. The rules change when our kids become teens. This book is a great resource for the "new" person you find living in your child's room. THANK YOU, Mr. Riera for writing this book and sharing your insight.

A must for parents of teenagers

2007-12-05
I just finished this and passed it on to my husband to read (after highlighting many sections that apply specifically to our relationship with our 15 year old daughter). I learned so many things from this book - about myself AND my daughter. One of the most helpful discoveries was realizing that she actually is a normal and fairly typical teenager and, much to my relief, is not in need of an exorcism. I've seen a difference already in our ability to communicate effectively with each other and I'll refer to this book again and again ... especially with our son's teenage years just around the corner.

Invaluable Insight

2007-12-04

Fantastic book

2007-10-15
My daughter is just about to turn 14. She is a great kid but in the last 6 months I had really had a harder and harder time talking to her. I found I lost my temper on a regular basis when she didn't do what I wanted or act like I wanted...I am about 75% through the book and I can honestly say it has helped me tremendously. I no longer get mad, I understand much better how to deal with her and that its not me. I have been able to apply some of the techniques decribed in the book and they work. Highly recommend to anyone who has teenagers.

staying connected to your teenager

2007-08-23
I am about 1/2 way through this book and it is excellent, best book I have read about raising kids. I am trying hard to change the way I address my children as they get older and this book is certainly helping to open the lines of communication up. Definately worth reading!

Mike Riera is a the best in his field

2003-06-07
Mike Riera writes about teens in a way that demonstrates his incredible respect for them. He helps us to take teens seriously, and not to dismiss their behavior as simply "dramatic" or "a stage."
He is truly gifted, as a writer and a professional working with teens and families. He is thoughtful, real, and accessible to parents and to teens. I use his work everyday to inform my own work with teens, and his books are an incredible resource to offer to parents.