Girl Wars. 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying

Editorial Review
Stop the Hurting

Mary Pipher's bestselling Reviving Ophelia triggered widespread interest in the culture of preteen and teenage girls and the seeming epidemic of relational aggression (bullying) among them. Gossip, teasing, forming cliques, and other cruel behaviors are the basis of this bullying, which harms both victim and aggressor. Until now, no one has been able to offer practical and effective solutions that stop girls from hurting each other with words and actions. But in Girl Wars, two experts explain not only how to prevent such behavior but also how to intervene should it happen, as well as overcome the culture that breeds it.

Illustrated by compelling true stories from mothers and girls, the authors offer effective, easy-to-implement strategies that range from preventive to prescriptive, such as how to

Adopt a "help, don't hurt" strategy

Provide positive role models

Teach communication skills online and off

Stress assertiveness, not aggressiveness

Learn conflict resolution skills

Identify alternatives to bullying behavior

With their combined experience in offering and evaluating programs that combat bullying, the authors show that girls not only want to help rather than hurt each other, they can do so with guidance from concerned adults.
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Customer Reviews

Just what I was looking for

2004-05-16
This book is fabulous - just what I was looking for!! Every adult who works with young girls should read this book.

Wonderful and inspiring!

2004-01-01
This book on female bullying is an absolutely wonderful. "Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can break your heart." That's what female bullying would hurt girls deeply. This book is worth reading and there are some great take-home points. I really enjoyed the book and found it helpful. Only if I read it earlier!

Finally Advice for Dads

2003-12-31
As the dad of a teen girl who has gone through a lot of bullying I was nodding my head at the stories. Then I got to the chapter on Dads and Daughters and thought "At last!" This is the first concrete advice I've found on how to help my daughter. It's great to recognize that fathers play an important role too. One of my daughter's teachers read this, and is going to start a program at her school to stop relational aggression, so even more girls will benefit.

Disappointing

2003-12-03
I picked this up after reading Rachel Simmons' "Odd Girl Out" (which was outstanding) and wanting to know how I could take action against social aggression as a teacher. This book did not supply the answers. First, it's aimed primarily at parents, with hardly any direct recommendations to teachers (in fact, it almost takes the view that teachers are not likely to be effective allies in the battle against social aggression). Second, it espouses a number of strategies that strike me as naive and counterproductive. In her book, Simmons took a much savvier tack, identifying approaches that are likely to convince picked-on kids that YOU JUST DON'T GET IT AT ALL. Dellasega and Nixon seem to me to overemphasize church communities as a retreat from aggression -- this strikes me as not only naive but dangerous, since so many social aggressors cloak their meanness behind a façade of impeccable niceness, and what better way to prove how nice you are than to belong to a church group? They also endorse an activity called "the PowHer Game," which sounded to me about as bright an idea as a Jumping to Conclusions Mat; to confirm my hunch, I ran it past my sister (whose own junior-high experiences prompted her interest in "Odd Girl Out" and, by extension, mine), and she said, yep, any kid would think that was hokey beyond belief, and not one would put an ounce of trust in it.

Somewhere, either in print or in someone's mind, there is a book that can help parents, teachers and kids resist social aggression effectively. I don't think this one is it.