Worried All the Time. Rediscovering the Joy in Parenthood in an Age of Anxiety

Editorial Review
A much-needed book for parents about themselves.

In the tradition of Dr. Benjamin Spock, who in 1946 revolutionized parenting with the famous opening words of his classic child-rearing guide, "You know more than you think you know," child and family therapist David Anderegg reminds contemporary parents that "parenting is not rocket science. It's not even Chem 101." So why do those of us with children worry so much?

Whether they're thinking about school violence or getting a child into the right college, American moms and dads are a pretty worried crowd. Even though most American families are safer and healthier today than at any other time in our history, studies show that parental worrying has, in recent years, reached an all-time high. In Worried All the Time, Dr. Anderegg draws on social science research and his more than twenty years' experience as a therapist treating both parents and their children to clarify facts and fantasies about kids' lives today and the key issues that preoccupy parents. In the process, he offers a comforting and useful message: Parents are suffering needlessly -- and there are things they can do to take the edge off and focus on what their children really need.

In Worried All the Time, Dr. Anderegg identifies some of the causes of worry in contemporary American families, including fewer children, exaggerated fear of competition, and overblown media reports of children at risk. Anderegg calls this the "tabloidization of children" and critiques the fashion for media portrayals of "children in crisis." One at a time, he takes on the hot-button issues of our times:

• the use of day care and nannies

• overexposure to media

• school violence

• overscheduling

• experimentation with drugs

and looks a little closer to see the facts and the fantasies beneath the hysteria. Calling himself a "crisis agnostic," Anderegg persuasively argues that needless worry has negative consequences for families and for our culture as a whole. The cardinal rules of good parenting -- moderation, empathy, and temperamental accommodation with one's child -- are simple, he says, and are not likely to be improved upon by the latest scientific findings. Anderegg helps parents to understand the difference between wise vigilance and potentially crippling anxiety and to gain the confidence to trust their own common sense.
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Customer Reviews

An excellent book for parents, teachers and childcare worker

2004-10-03
David Anderegg offers down to earth advice for parents of infants to teenagers that encourages both a joyful parenting and childhood experience. At the same time the book is entertaining and humorous. It feels as if you are sitting down, having a great conversation with David Anderegg. I especially love the Try This at Home ideas he provides at the end of each chapter. I also really benefited from his discussion of TV and media.

I am the mother of an infant (and hope to have more children someday), so I have many years ahead of me as a parent and I'm glad to have read this book now. Even if I didn't have children I would still have enjoyed this book because it is an interesting look at our culture from my parent's generation, to my own, to my daughter's. And I also would have loved this book before my daughter's birth when I worked in baby/childcare.

I really agree with David Anderegg when he explains how a parent's worries stems from his or her own life being reflected onto the child. Before I had my daughter I had many worries rooting back to my own experiences growing up that I had to work on before having children. Now as a mother I understand that my daughter is her own person with her own life. I see my daughter's unique personality already in her calm, joyful, curious ways. I'm having too much fun watching her grow and explore to worry. I see her security and contentment. And yet I probably have not entered a deep state of sleep since her birth (as David Anderegg describes in his book).

This book will ease unnecessary worries, help you examine yourself, help you relax and enjoy parenthood, and give you information to help you direct your worries to where they really belong. As a new parent it never hurts to get a little wisdom and guidance. If only all parents and teachers could read this book.