How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do if You Can't

Editorial Review
The teenage years are tough-for kids, and for parents. Many teenagers are grappling with a slew of overwhelming emotions, and the results can range from not wanting to be seen with a parent in public to reckless and destructive behavior that can destroy a family. Parents despair as a child becomes a sullen, defiant stranger.

A clinical psychologist who's spent more than two decades bringing families back from the brink, Dr. Neil I. Bernstein knows how to help parents and teens successfully navigate these difficult and trying years. Thoughtful, clear-eyed, comprehensive, and refreshingly free of jargon, HOW TO KEEP YOUR TEENAGER OUT OF TROUBLE AND WHAT TO DO IF YOU CAN'T helps parents identify whether their teens are exhibiting typical behavior-such as locking themselves in their room for

hours-or are exhibiting real danger signs, such as being secretive, despondent, or constantly angry. And then he tells what to do about it. The focus, above all else, is effective communication: how to avoid threats and put-downs, offer clear explanations, stick with the issues at hand, negotiate, improve listening skills, ask relevant questions, and stop interrogating or lecturing. Throughout, Bernstein uses examples from his practice to tell specifically what to do and say. There is sample dialogue to keep discussions from becoming arguments; signals that parental efforts are actually working; and Skill Builders that give parents the tools they need to ensure their teenagers leave home as responsible, moral adults.

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Customer Reviews

How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do If You Can't

2007-03-11
This is a good book. But in some parts it is a decade behind. Our kids and teens are growing up so fast, we can not keep up with the change. This book does have some good hints, helpful ideas and things that will help you to look past the area they are now and where they may be heading.

Extremely helpful

2005-10-07
I saw Dr. Bernstein on the NBC Katie Couric special on teens and sex a few months ago. I liked the way he provided sound and practical advise on dealing with difficult situations. After reading the book, I felt there really is a way to raise teens effectively without feeling that everything has to be a battle. This book is really true to its title. It offers parents a user friendly approach which is forthright and filled with everyday examples of how to handle challenging situations. I enjoyed reading it and highly recommend it to other parents.

Not for clinicians

2005-07-29
This is too basic a book for therapists. Don't let it's large size fool you. Ok for parents who need some guidance.

Author of Survival Meditations for Parents of Teens

2004-12-12
As an author and therapist working with teens and their families for the past twenty years, I am constantly looking for resources for parents. This no-nonsense book can help parents when they are at their most desperate by offering real-life solutions to the problems they most frequently face. For support of a more spiritual nature, check out my daily meditations, as together we try to survive this amazing and challenging time in our lives, and the lives of our teens.

When you are facing tough choices with your teen...

2002-04-02
I stumbled across this book on a sale rack and after thumbing through it, realized it offered more information than the dozen other books on raising teens that I'd read. This is one book that does not pull any punches, and confirms the idea that sometimes parents HAVE tried everything, and still their child is acting in such an extreme manner that the home setting is not the best for either child or parents and siblings. My husband and I had been considering an outside placement for our 16 yr. old son, and this book helped us decide how to proceed, with guidelines on locating a facility best suited to our son's needs and ours.

If you are looking at exteme, oppositional and defiant behavior, this book will give you the tools to make an informed decision to get your child's life back on track. Our son is now placed at a therapeutic boarding school relearning the fundamental values of honesty, respect for himself and others, and accountability.

An Heir to Dr. Spock 2002-01-11
The teenage years are tough-for kids, and for parents. Many teenagers are grappling with a slew of overwhelming emotions, and the results can range from not wanting to be seen with a parent in public to reckless and destructive behavior that can destroy a family. Parents despair as a child becomes a sullen, defiant stranger.

keeping teenagers out of trouble 2001-11-10
I've read several books on teens over the years, but this is the first one I've come across that addresses almost every parenting concern that I've had over the past few years. Bernstein tells the reader exactly what to do in challenging situations and how to go about it. It's filled with examples of real life situations and goes into detail about certain aspects of the teenage years which I had overlooked.
I feel this book is a wonderful guide for any parent struggling with teenage issues--day to day concerns, or the more serious issues. The author really understands teenagers and it comes across throughout the book. The chapter on communication should be required reading for all parents. I just finished reading this book and am planning on keeping it around for a long time. I was pleasantly surprised to see how well some of the suggestions on limit setting and dealing with drinking works with my own teenage son (who is a handful at times)It's a wonderful reference for all parents and I think everyone should read it. Maybe it'll finally give parents the edge over their teens again!