Customer Reviews
Be careful 
2008-01-22
Like most others, I do feel this and other self-help books can be useful. However, the effectiveness really does depend on the state of your relationship, your partner's receptiveness and your own mindset at the time. I read this book and practiced much of what she instructed but it requires alot of work to simply change yourself, change your thoughts and your own behavior. Although I'm sure it can be rewarding when her advice works, it can be extremely frustrating when it doesn't, especially when you feel like you've been the one trying, working and giving in the relationship in the past. I ended up feeling as though I was repressing my own feelings, becoming relatively submissive and subservient and there was a blow-up when things didn't go as planned. It can be frustrating when over a period of time one person feels they are doing all the work. Not for the faint of heart - be warned it can backfire unless you have a receptive partner.
This book is a breath of fresh air! 
2007-08-23
What a relief it is to consider that you alone, without the cooperation or consent of your spouse, can work to improve the quality of your relationship...Wow! I found this book to be very empowering and uplifting...forcing me to focus on the good rather than the negative aspects of my relationship.
This book has fabulous insight into the male versus female habits, needs, tendencies and desires. I consider myself to be an optimist and a spiritual person, and most relationship books just don't "fit", and usually bring me down. I definitely plan to read more by this author, and I hope my spouse will as well.
When you read this book, make sure that you don't skip the "In Conclusion" section at the end...it brought me to tears, and truly put into words how I feel about my husband, and about life! We need to stop focusing on our problems and how to solve them, and just focus on the moment and the journey. Enjoy life...Begin now!
Helpful 
2007-04-10
If you are frustrated with not getting enough effort out of your partner when it comes to getting a derailed relationship back on track this book will help. I can't say it is the best written book ever, but the ways it tells you to cope and take charge are enough to make it a worthwile read.
Saved my marriage 2007-02-03
I really didn't believe that I could change my relationship, by only working myself. Boy, did Susan Page show me I was wrong. Take note, this book is not for the lazy or the faint of heart. She has "exercises" that you must actually DO, many of which involve writing about yourself and your partner. She requires that you do some hard and sometimes painful analysis of your situation. It's not always easy, it's not always fun. But if you are willing to do the work, you will find that you CAN bring you and your spouse together.
Can This Marriage Be Saved? 2005-12-22
I wish I'd had this book when my first marriage ran into trouble. My counselor at that time told me the marriage could be saved only if both persons were willing to work on it and that one person could not save it alone.
The focus of this book is on developing fresh perspectives about the relationship, overcoming resentment, recapturing lost intimacy and solving major problems, one at a time. Don't give up without first trying these techniques.
very insightful 2005-09-27
Susan Page's groundbreaking approach to relationships gives readers the tools and encouragement they need to bring positive changes to their relationship, even when their partners are unwilling to do the work. Based on the premise that what you do in a relationship makes changes faster than anything you discuss, Page introduces the concept of "Loving Leadership" and offers fourteen empowering and doable strategies for recapturing the positive feelings, including how to:
Overcome resentment and move beyond blameSolve major problems--one at a timeRecapture lost intimacy
Step-by-step, Page demonstrates that with tangible goals, and new ways of thinking, one partner can bring new levels of harmony and love to a relationship.
With the right attitude, it does work! 2005-07-31
An action leads to a reaction. A reaction then leads to another action. Many relationships get suck quickly into the sinking sand, before you know it, it is over!
Our marriage was just like that! I've seeked help- clinical psychiatrist, marriage counselor, and read enough books on building relationships. No "improvements" seem to last!
I came across this book right around the time when i decided our marriage is over. I thought, one more book, what have I got to lose?
I have to admit it as NOT easy to "act loving towards your spouse" when it felt like there's no love left in the relatioinship. There were times that I felt like screaming and throw in the towels. " I don't have to put up with this!" came to my mind often. But if you persist and use Susan's guidelines, your new behavior/action will lead to new and different reaction. Slowly things does improve.
Our marriage is far from "smooth sailing", but we are no longer hostile towards each other and I can see us growing old together. BTW, my husband has never read the book! He does not think he has any problem! (Yea, right!) This book offers some interesting views on how you can work on improving your relationship even if your other half is not totally cooperating. Some changes are simply contagious.
Beware, you must change yourself first!
Doesn't deserve one star 2005-07-18
If you are buying this book in hopes of saving a failing marriage, you might be disappointed. Only couples actively working together to improve their relationship might benefit from some of this advise. If your relationship has disintegrated to the level where just one of you is trying, you're not in a relationship at all. Following Susan Page's strategies under these circumstances might do you more harm than good. There is no such thing as a relationship that works on half power and this is exactly what is suggested between these pages. This could be catastrophic for partners in a verbally or emotionally abusive marriage where they are blamed constantly for everything already.
The title of this book is deceiving and maybe even a little irresponsible.
For One Who Wants to Be a Better Soul Mate 2004-08-12
Honestly, I was reading this book when I had my first heart break. I was in search for answers, in search for the truth and resolution. If you happen to experience a heart break, reading this book can possibly have two outcomes to you:
1. It might create an illusion as that you can do things to bring your partner back.
NOTE: At that point, you just have to make sure your partner/ex-partner wants to work with you. Remember, your partner/ex-partner, too, has a choice. He/she might not be making the wisest choice but they have a right to choose what they want in life too. Coming to learn how to respect your partner/ex-partner¡¦s choice of leaving is a challenge. I¡¦d say this. If your partner/ex-partner is determined to leave, shut himself/herself down regardless, that love was probably not meant to be. It is then we need to take good care of our own emotions and have the desire to heal than getting yourself hurt by trying numerous things with that partner/ex-partner suggested in the book.
2. You can learn from your past mistakes and this book will prepare you to become a better soul mate.
NOTE: Susan Page taught me many things I did not know when I was in that previous long-term relationship. She taught me the importance to view relationship problems in a different way, a way that is positive which is extremely tough when you have fights/differences with your partner. She taught me the importance of showing appreciation and taking care of myself as an individual while one is in a relationship. The book also taught me the importance in communicating expectations and needs than expecting the other party to just know. Most importantly, I think a successful relationship is about two individuals who are self-reliant and content about lives join together. That is what makes relationships beautiful and grateful.
I wish I would have read this book in my previous relationship. However, without the heart break, I guess I would not have been in search for answers, the truth and to have the desire to be a better person and a better soul mate. This book is truly recommended for people who are in relationships and people who fall out of relationships but want to learn from the past mistakes. Enjoy reading!
Empowering 2004-03-15
When you really look at them, most advice books for couples spend most of their pages telling you how much YOU contribute to the issues and problems in your relationship. Page's title comes right out and says what the titles of other "couples" books don't: Improvement starts with YOU!! Inside the book, she immediately starts giving you practical ways of improving your relationship. Her "experiments" are useful and effective. Also, it's written in a clear and accessible style. This book empowers you with the skills you need to improve any relationship, so anyone would find this book useful.
