A Fine Young Man. What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Adolescent Boys into Exceptional Men

Customer Reviews

Sheds light on adolescent males, and how to reach them

2000-07-20
I've been a teacher of this species for almost twenty years, and am in the throes of raising two of them myself, but Gurian explains many of the mystifying aspects of teenaged boys to those of us who have never been one!

He explains the biology and psychology, but more than that, he shares insights into the ways to best reach and connect with teenaged young men. As an example, which we probably all know intuitively, but didn't realize on a conscious level, if you want to try and talk with them, you have to do something active, like shoot hoops. You also have to be prepared to take the time to wait. These are the types of insights I found personally useful, but there is much more here that is helpful to anyone who is hoping to help boys grow up into well-adjusted men. I recommend this to anyone who spends time with adolescent boys.

A Fine Young Man is a treasure 2000-05-22
As a single mom this was a hard book for me to read. I had no problem finding mentors for my daughter - there were always other mothers & teachers. Finding mentors for my son was problematic. At least I did recognize he needed male role models & decent ones at that. In A Fine Young Man, Michael Gurian gives us a swift, fluent & readily digestible version of the Adolescent Male 101. For those of us in the body female - this is fascinating, validating & enlightening. For those of us in the body male I expect it's all of that with the added feature of being familiar! I sure hope so! A must for anyone raising sons or mentoring our young men...

For everyone! 2000-04-05
Why are we raising generations of disaffected, dysfunctional & dissed young men? Why does it seem that our boys no longer have direction to their lives. Why on earth are they so enraged, rudderless & obsessed? In A Fine Young Man you will see the tragic trail leading to wounded boys, abandoned by mentors & guides. Both boys & girls needs community heroes, direction & instruction & public school simply does not nor cannot take the place of adult male elders. This book is an eye opener, a swift & fluent introduction to the Adolescent Male 101 & takes us through the quests & stages all young males pass through, guided or not. Fascinating, hair-raising & eminently readable. A must for anyone raising boys or wondering about our lost, damaged youth.

Definitely worth the time 2000-03-17
At a conference for educators, I atttended Gurian's presentation. I had never heard of him, but thought he was one of the most sane and compassionate voices among the many addressing these issues. Having subsequently read all his books except the new one, A Good Son, I found A Fine Young Man to be the most helpful and most interestingly written. I've recommended it and given it as a gift quite a few times. His position is not anti-feminist; it is pro-boy, which is quite different. Until we can make this distinction as educators and as parents we will continue to put our young men and our society at risk.

Accurate Depiction of Boys in a Feminist Hate Culture 1999-12-19
As a college student who is writing an honors thesis on the plight of adolescent boys in the feminist hate culture, I found this book very enlightening and powerfully informative. This was very useful to me not only in my paper but also in gaining a better understanding of how adolescent boys are. Well done!

A tool that parents, teachers, and community members can utalize 2006-12-12
This book was written not only for youth but as a tool that parents, teachers, and community members can use to engage in the difficult task of guiding youth, especially young men. The author states that "Adolescent boys may appear to be self-sufficient, but they actually need their parents and elders desperately." This profound statement by the author summarizes the book in the fact that without mentor's youth can not survive. Besides providing information for family and community members the book also addresses many male behavior traits by describing biological reasons behind them. Scientific studies conducted on neurological development have asserted that female and make brains have significant differences. Within males testosterone plays a much more profound role in male development and behavior which sheds some light into the aggressive actions of male youth. However, the author doesn't simply focus on neurological development as a means to scapegoat the fact that males tend to be more aggressive then females thus their behavior should be excused, but rather suggest that this theory might explain in more depth the reasoning behind typical family dilemmas.

The book outlines ways that parents, mentors, and community members can keep aggression from becoming violence, such as focusing on education and how the media effects aggression in young men through development from preadolescence to late adolescence. The author states that adolescent boys are society's most undernourished population in regards to mentoring and that focusing a little bit of time and effort is going to pay of immensely for these young men and how they ultimately affect society.

This book was clearly written for individuals who want to broaden their knowledge surrounding at risk male youth. It has clear goals which are outlined throughout the book and it provided a solid basis for understanding what needs to be done in ones home, community, and elsewhere to aid in the development of at risk youth.

Even though at times I did not agree with the physiological causes for assertive male behavior I was able to understand that extensive research within this area has been completed and this book is based on that research. Although the neurological development of males is drastically different then females, I believe that it does not excuse aggressive behavior. Overall I thought this book was well written and had some excellent alternative view points. I would definitely recommend it to another mentor.

Makes Boys Sound Like Wreckless Hormone Driven Monsters, 2005-01-17
Basically to make a long story short he gives boys
*bunk" all the traits of monstes which have to be controlled by
channeling boys even further into this behavior by saying it's
"normal".In REAL life there are plenty of quiet,well mannered
boys and sex crazed rocus girls.This book has nothing to do with
reality,and is based on Gurian's subjective beliefs about
boys or as he puts it "male brains".Brains are brains and they
vary from person to person,once more he doesn't seem to understand their is more to a ^BEING^ than mere biology.
People can teach their children,both boys and girls that they
have self controll and will to succeed.Both girls as well as
boys need information which will lead them toward success in
life,not just boys.Much weight to succeed is put on boys in
his realm.This ideal of 'masculine' *gag* perfection is not good for boys,because it's a ONE SIZE FITS ALL type of
mentality.
What he's doing to kids and also adults is criminal.

A Clinical Psychologist's View 2002-04-06
I find Gurian's cross-cultural perspective fascinating, and he does a better job in this book than in "The Wonder of Boys" of suggesting actions that can be taken and changes that can be made to help our young men. As a mentor and a clinical psychologist who works with children and their families, I see far too many boys trying to figure out how to become men with little or no input from men. Growing up just happens as boys grow older, but maturing is another matter; maturing or developing into adulthood requires guidance and/or examples to follow. Mothers do all they can, but boys need men they respect who will teach them how to become men, or at least lead by example. This is highly recommended for mentors, educators, and parents.

Good but left me longing for more 2001-07-21
I have 2 boys 12 and 14. I hunger for books on this subject. I liked this book better than others. I chaff at the sterotypes necessary in this sort of book although Gurian handled this issue gracefully. The book is dense on theory and philosophy and more articulate and complete and thought provoking than most. I liked his list of characteristics and attributes of the fine young man. The sections on practical hints, while much more complete than most other books on the subject could certainly bear some fleshing out especially for parents who not are well connected with adequate male models. It made me grateful I have a great husband and a circle of good friends.

A practical book substantiated through scientific research 2000-08-17
One of the best features of this book is the fact that Michael Gurian. having lived in other cultures, researches his material through the scientific process aas well as by investigating other cultures in how they relate to boys. In so doing Gurian discovers some common elements and some differences. Some of these differences are surprising and offer our own culture something to thnink about. It is hard to focus on what is good about this book because one would have to summarize all its chapters. Perhaps a strong element of "A Fine Young Man" is the structure of those chapters. Guriam presents the thesis of the chapter. He presents cross-cultural references, scientific reseach and personal histories. He then offers some practical "how-to's". For those of us who work with boys, especially adolescents, this practical aspect is quite important. While Gurian's style makes this "easy" reading, one finds oneself pausing numerous times and talking to oneself about what one has just read. Gurian inspires the reader to bring "his" own life to the process. I thought this book would be a releif from the spiritual and theological reading I have been doing. Yet I found myself reflecting frequently on Gurian's insights, the implications of the research he discovered and the stories he presents. I found myself journaling about these times.

This book has solid practical value, but it also has a deep spiritual challenge to those of us to want to help our young men grow into healthy and faithful adults.