Adult Children. The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families

Customer Reviews

wow

2006-03-15
Illuminating and frightening. We all have baggage and until we find a place to safely store it, those closest to us are also burdened with it. The ideas in this book promote taking responsibility for our actions, looking into the motivations of those actions, and examining the source of our attitudes without placing blame on anyone. It's a great book about growing up to be healthy and facing one's demons without guilt. It's a relief to read this material and know that it's OK to feel a certain way, and even better to feel that healthy change is possible.

Understandable and Informative

2005-10-19
I just finished this book and I recommend it to anyone wanting a better understanding of what it means to be an Adult Child. If you are not sure you fall into this category, there are a few quizzes and questionaires that I thought did a good job of answering this question for me. Ive read other books on the subject, and this book did a good job of keeping the psychological babble to a minimum while making it educational and informative. The best thing I think it did was make me realize that I am sitll an adult child and where these issues possible stem from. I think it could have done better in exploring the different roles within a family structure. It definatly pushes 12-step groups and individual counseling which is a healthy next step with these kinds of issues. Its a great first read or refresher on this subject matter.

Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families

2005-09-07
I bought a copy for all adult members of my family. We are each reading a few chapters before meeting and discussing what spoke to us personally. So far we are all impressed with the book. I'm hoping this will put us all on the same page before going in for family therapy if we feel it's needed.

It will help you

2001-06-08
I highly recomend this book for it has helped me to grow inorder to help myself and deal with my disfunctions. I purchesed the book years ago and had to replace it recently. I first purchased it after reading "Hidden Guilt" which is no longer in print and not as easy to read. I seem to read the book more as a reference on what not to do in my life and how to move on to better things.

Achieving Understanding

2000-08-24
This incredible book leads those of us in recovery from dysfunction to attempting normalcy. It is written specifically for those who have no idea what normalcy is. Our parents, who loved us, unknowly led us into a life that is lived without the skills to develop intimacy that is necessary for our closest relationships. The Friels explain our losses without blaming anyone and give concrete ways to help adult children recover their true selves.It explains how some of the most severe comditions of mental illness can be related to our dysfuncional families. Most of all it gives us hope for the future and for developing loving relationships.

A Good Read

2007-12-11
This is a thorough book and has a lot of great information. It can be a bit clinical, but still offers insight into the results of dysfunctional family life.

Not a very good book

2007-01-09
Unless you are a child of an alcoholic or grew up in this type of environment, I would not recommend this book. There are other types of dysfunctional families but they are not discussed in as much detail as alcoholics.

Thank You

2006-11-04
I have worked in mental health for about 4 years now. I am very good at what I do but came to realize that I have been too busy helping others rather than taking care of myself. All of this is pretty ironic to me. This book caused me to open my eyes and see that I have some issues that must be dealt with. This book has given me the motivation and courage to seek help. I never thought I was part of a "dysfunctional" family but could identify with many aspects of this book that really hit home and helped me understand what was going on a little better. As the author says it is very important to keep an open mind, be honest, and let go of our denial that acts only as a defense mechanism to cover up the underlying problem.

insightful

2006-08-20
This very well written books offers insights about who we are as a person and why we are the way we are. I found the book very comforting because it reinforced what I was feeling inside. This book also gives advice about how to change. I think that even if you don't come from an "abusive" family you should read this book because I know that everyone can relate and learn from it in many ways.

Nobody teaches this stuff. Read it!

2006-03-29
Excellent. A bit dated but timeless content. The beginning and end speaks to AA type meetings but it's not the main focus of the book, co-dependency is, which just about everyone deals with growing up. Quick read. There are a few short stories featuring animals that are sprinkled between the chapters, adding levity and a moment to escape and explore how the new information may serve you. My favorite, The Goose, whose parents told her not to leave the pond despite her feeling sick but she finally did leave and discovered she was right. The family unit unknowingly puts family members into positions and then keeps them there unable to see the dysfunction. Once one family member took action leaving the others behind the others eventually followed. If one family member is acting out and you don't know why it is not always the issue of the one who is acting out, look beyond, look to yourself first. Highly recommended.