Coaching College Students with AD/HD . Issues and Answers

Customer Reviews

Authors don't understand the relational issues a person with ADHD has

2008-04-14
The book is written by a pediatrician (Quinn), a coach (Ratey) and a PhD (Maitland).

The book is filled with very practical explanations and coaching suggestions and would deserve a raving 4 stars if it weren't for Chapter 6 (Social Skills) and it would deserve even 5 stars if it wouldn't constantly invite the coach to teach the person with ADHD to rely on others and their help.

Let's see why I gave it 3 stars.

Speaking about how to keep a friendship, the authors write (verbatim): "The small things in friendship count - remembering a friend's birthday, showing support by attending games or performances, calling just to say "hi", emailing a get well card, etc. These may seem like unimportant details, but make a big impact on keeping friends and show you really care" (page 120).

How patronizing is that? How many persons with ADHD aren't aware that birthday wishes are important??? We all know very well, the problem is that we can't remember a date or a good idea for a card or an email, NOT THAT WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HURTS OUR FRIENDS.

In page 121, they write (again, verbatim): "Most persons with ADHD will claim they know what the person is going to say before they say it, so they don't need to listen. This attitude can get them into trouble by assuming too much. Friendships are two-way streets. Stress the importance of keeping engaged, asking for feedback, and not to ever assume what someone else is thinking without verification".

These lines betray their approach to ADHD coaching, ie normalization. Let's teach these people with ADHD that they don't, in fact, have intuition, and let's make them insecure of their gifts because people don't like honesty. How about teaching the persons with ADHD to keep the intuition for themselves and not blurt it out UNLESS they verified that the other person is receptive to hearing feedback instead?

Finally, the following lines really made me throw up. Again, verbatim (page 125): "Frequently, ADHD students wait for someone to complain about something they have done, before asking for feedback. Urge the student to take the initiative to communicate about these issues in a direct manner".

Wait a moment! If I take action X, do I have to secondguess people around me every minute or can I hope and even expect (or - in fact - demand) that if THEY have issues, THEY come forward (ie personal responsibility, whoever gets hurt says so!)?

This coaching approach to relationships is absurd and *dangerous* for our life! Since we are supposed to be insensitive, we are asked to deny our gifts and become a nice little codependent person.

THIS IS NOT COACHING!!!!! This is a crock!

If you really have to buy this book, skip chapter 6. It's useless.

Read College Confidence with ADD by Micheal Sandler instead!

A MUST for ADD Coaches!

2001-09-04
This book is an absolute must for EVERY ADD Coach, whether they work with college students or not!
What makes this book so valuable is that it is not just a lot of theory. It is nitty-gritty coaching technique at its best. The various issues that face ADD college students are examined closely, then specific recommendations are made about how the coach can help the student/client. Examples of check-ins are provided along with step-by-step outlines that take the coach through the important points.
Not only is this essential for coaches who work with ADD college students, but it is also extremely valuable for anyone who coaches people with ADD/ADHD. The introductory material makes it clear that this book is not meant to take the place of coach training, but this reviewer believes that this should be an essential text book for all ADD coaches. The authors have done us an invaluable service.