Customer Reviews
A must read! 
2008-04-25
If you have a daughter currently in middle school, this is a must read before high school!
Almost, But Not Quite. NOT Recommended for Parents of Fat Girls 
2008-04-24
There's so much good in here, but Wiseman's naivete on the normality of fatness gets in the way of this being an entirely safe or sanity-promoting book. It's simply normal for some women and girls to be "overweight". There's no evidence anywhere that fat people "eat their problems" (to use the naive phrase from "Mean Girls") any more than thinner people. Some of us are genetically destined to be at the top of the weight bell curve. It's great that Wiseman recommends The Beauty Myth, for instance, but I wonder if she actually read it. Or The Dieters Dilemma. Or The Obesity Myth. Or Losing It. Or any of the other books in the fat acceptance/health at every size canon.
Perpetuating the old fat-people-are-gluttons myth simply is no longer acceptable or scientifically accurate. Reading this book and projecting its messages on to young fat girls is potentially as dangerous as any other form of bullying Wiseman describes.
Maybe someday she'll correct this major flaw in a future edition?
Enlightening for Dad 2008-04-12
Simply put, I found the book to far exceed my expectations for it. As a male, the author's insights into girls' social roles and interactions were a huge eye-opener. And as the father of three girls, I appreciate all the examples of specific situations girls may find themselves in, how their thinking/social conditioning may have contributed, and how they can extricate themselves.
As others have noted, the author's presentation is non-judgmental, and she makes great use of first-hand accounts to introduce or support the discussion, not as trite filler.
This book will go on my shelf as an irreplaceable "field guide to my daughters, their friends and their social habits".
Sugar and Spice? More like Napalm and Hot Sauce! 2008-01-26
I survived eight years of single sex education (high school and college), and work in an industry populated by mostly women in office settings. I am here to tell you, it doesn't matter if you are a teenager in classes with other teenagers, or if you are in a multi-age group setting in an office - GIRLS / WOMEN ARE JEALOUS AND TWO FACED! As the movie Mean Girls was based on this book, it was more of a documentary than entertainment (although it was certainly both), and you realize how depressing it really is.
Girls are mean. Period. No human female despite age, race, soci-economic backgrounds, value system, etc. is immune to the sociopathic tendancies that women are capable of. This is a good book for women to understand their peers and for mothers to understand what their daughters are going through. Traditionally, women were not taught until relatively recently that we are able to achieve the same things that men are. How we attained power was to cut each other in half with words. You as a woman must overcome jealousy and stop pitting one against the other.
However, while this book gives sound advice as to how, why and what to do about the caddiness of girls / women, it can only give you good coping skills. The best way to handle these situations is to be nice, but not too nice to others. Don't let people get too close that they have ammunition to use against you. Believe me, if you have never experienced this before, you have no idea the lengths people will go to in order to cut you down. And, somewhat crazy as it may sound, I am a 33 year old woman whose closest friends are all men. Jealousy, emotion, and irrational behavior has cost me several women friends I've had over the years. It's rough sometimes, but, I guess I have no choice, do I?
Every parent with a daughter needs this book 2008-01-14
Wow, if you are female this book will take you back in time and make you more compassionate towards your daugher. If you are a dad - you need to read this to realize what your daugher is going through. It is a quick read. I think my daughter apprecaites that I am reading this book. By the way it was suggested by her Dr. that I read it.
Unpleased with the service 
2007-12-26
The Basis for the Movie Mean GirlsPARENTS CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN GIRL WORLD
Do you feel as though your adolescent daughter exists in a different world, speaking a different language and living by different laws? She does.
This groundbreaking book takes you inside the secret world of girls’ friendships, translating and decoding them, so parents can better understand and help their daughters navigate through these crucial years. Rosalind Wiseman has spent more than a decade listening to thousands of girls talk about the powerful role cliques play in shaping what they wear and say, how they feel about school, how they respond to boys, and how they feel about themselves. In this candid and insightful book, Wiseman discusses:
• Queen Bees, Wannabes, Targets, Torn Bystanders, and others: how to tell what role your daughter plays and help her be herself
• Girls’ power plays, from birthday invitations to cafeteria seating arrangements and illicit parties, and how to handle them
• Good popularity and bad popularity: how cliques bear on every situation
• Hip Parents, Best-Friend Parents, Pushover Parents, and others: examine your own parenting style, “Check Your Baggage,” and identify how your own background and biases affect how you relate to your daughter
• Related movies, books, websites, and organizations: a carefully annotated resources section provides opportunities to follow up on your own and with your daughter
Enlivened with the voices of dozens of girls and parents and a welcome sense of humor, Queen Bees and Wannabes is compelling reading for parents and daughters alike. A conversation piece and a reference guide, it offers the tools you need to help your daughter feel empowered and make smarter choices.
Maybe that's what school was like for her... 
2007-11-10
but, honestly, the book is a very over-dramatic version of what teenaged girls are like, as far as my experience has been (I'm eighteen now and in college). I can honestly say that the most popular girls at my school were intelligent, friendly, personable young women who were popular because we all liked them (and, no, I wasn't one of them). I'll be the first to admit that it's a great read--lots of interesting and funny stories--but, seriously, it's completely the opposite of my memories of middle and high school. The book always made me worry that I was "evil," since according to Ms. Wiseman, only the meanest girl in the class says that everyone pretty much gets along and hangs out with her friend, but that's honestly how school was for me, and I was nothing like a "queen bee."
It's not a bad book to remind girls how to behave, but for moms? This book will scare you for no real reason. Most of the girls I knew in high school had their heads on straight and are doing well at college now. I think that Ms. Wiseman is projecting her own bad memories of school and popularity on everyone else.
A great book for moms of preteen girls 2007-06-08
This book was such an eye opener. It helped me to not only understand where my girls are right now but also helped me understand some of the things I experienced as a girl in middle and highschool. I think every mother of a preteen daughter should read this book.
A must-read to understand adolescent girls OR boys! 2007-05-07
Though this book is intended for parents, anyone who spends time with young people- mentors, teachers, program administrators, etc.- will benefit from the insights and detailed instructions contained in this highly readable volume!
It is clear that Ms. Wiseman has done her homework. Working with diverse groups of teenagers for years myself and having been one not THAT long ago) I recognize and relate to the characters and conflicts she describes and value the advice she offers.
If you've seen the movie, MEAN GIRLS, which was based on this book, you've gotten a small taste of what's addressed here- cliques, fads, teen politics, gossip, sex, and parental influence- but there's lots more!
And for those of us who are raising boys to be honorable and respectful young men, Queen Bees and Wannabes is a terrific resource, too.
I've often heard that there is no "manual" for raising kids. I respectfully disagree- there are MANY manuals for raising kids and this is the best one I've read dealing with adolescents and teens.
READ it and encourage others to do so. The young people in your life will thank you for it!
Realistic and honest 2007-04-20
I am a 25 year-old girl who has experienced many of the situations cited in this book, either as the target or the bully. I grew up an overweight, unpopular, artsy little girl. In the 8th grade, I lost a ton of weight, grew, and my clothes became trendy. Needless to say, things changed. With one easy swoop, I went from victim to bully. Only now, as a (young) adult, I come to terms with both my nerdy, victim past and my mean girl high school years, with the help of this book. As other reviwers noted, most teenage girls will probbaly experience both sides of the scenario and often are a combination of the traits lised for each of the diff. person. types. As others noted with this book, there is no judgement imposed on the "mean girls". Most girls have "mean" moments, no matter how quiet, shy or unassuming, and I think Wiseman portrays this accurately. Sometimes, the worst bullying is from girls who simply follow others or stealthily do things, like not inviting someone out with a group of friends or not being honest because they're too "nice". I find it completely annoying that alot of the mothers/teachers/family friends/etc. who are commenting on here refuse to believe that their daughtes/students are not like that. ALL girls, or kids, are to some degree. It doesn't make them evil or not great kids. It makes them human. You can still be "hysterically funny, kind, emotional, creative and most of all INDIVIDUALS" as one reviwer wrote but still have mean girl moments. I don't think Wiseman oversimplifies. I think alot of the parents and teacher do in their reviews. Kids are much more complex than being good or bad. The mean girls need love too and have problems as well. I'd like to believe that some people are just mean and that's it but that's often not the case. Some are defensive or have family problems or are insecure or are being abused or may be depressed. Wiseman doesn't demonize anyone in this book, which I find great. In addition, to the reviewer who said she has no credentials and should not be writing about this, as a youngish adult woman, I'd rather have someone who knows what goes on and is close in age commenting on this stuff than someone who is out of touch.
