Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads. Dealing with the Difficult Parents in Your Child's Life

Editorial Review
What happens to Queen Bees and Wannabes when they grow up?

Even the most well-adjusted moms and dads can experience peer pressure and conflicts with other adults that make them act like they’re back in seventh grade. In Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads, Rosalind Wiseman gives us the tools to handle difficult situations involving teachers and other parents with grace. Reassuring, funny, and unfailingly honest, Wiseman reveals:

• Why PTA meetings and Back-to-School nights tap into parents’ deepest insecurities

• How to recognize the archetypal moms and dads—from Caveman Dad to Hovercraft Mom

• How and when to step in and step out of your child’s conflicts with other children, parents, teachers, or coaches

• How to interpret the code phrases other parents use to avoid (or provoke) confrontation

• Why too many well-meaning dads sit on the sidelines, and how vital it is that they step up to the plate

• What to do and say when the playing field becomes an arena for people to bully and dominate other kids and adults

• How to have respectful yet honest conversations with other parents about sex and drugs when your values are in conflict

• How the way you handle parties, risky behavior, and academic performance affects your child

• How unspoken assumptions about race, religion, and other hot-button subjects sabotage parents’ ability to work together

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is filled with the kind of true stories that made Wiseman’s New York Times bestselling book Queen Bees & Wannabes impossible to put down. There are tales of hardworking parents with whom any of us can identify, along with tales of outrageously bad parents—the kind we all have to reckon with. For instance, what do you do when parents donate a large sum of money to a school and their child is promptly transferred into the honors program–while your son with better grades doesn’t make the cut? What about the mother who helps her daughter compose poison-pen e-mails to yours? And what do you say to the parent-coach who screams at your child when the team is losing? Wiseman offers practical advice on avoiding the most common parenting “land mines” and useful scripts to help you navigate difficult but necessary conversations.

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads is essential reading for parents today. It offers us the tools to become wiser, more relaxed parents–and the inspiration to speak out, act according to our values, show humility, and set the kind of example that will make a real difference in our children’s lives.

Also available as a Random House AudioBook and as an eBook

From the Hardcover edition.
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Customer Reviews

What grown-up has time for all this drama?

2008-02-15
I read the book and picked up some good hints for dealing with unfairness and how to handle it if I should have to deal with a rogue coach or something. I guess we've been lucky. With the exception of the fallout of having to deal with one whacked first grade teacher, I have managed to bring kids to the teen/pre-teen years without getting too wrapped up in the drama of the kid who didn't get invited to the Big Party, or the Kid who Spends Too Much Time of the Sidelines or the Mean PTA Lady Who Makes Me Do Scut Work while all her cronies get the plum assignments. In short, I have a life, as do my kids, and they really aren't the same life. But in all our lives, not being invited to every event, or not being the kid with the most playing time on the court, or even being teased for wearing an eye patch are all small bumps in life's journey, not the measure of our self worth.

Some people never leave 7th grade behind so how do you cope?

2008-02-07
I have two elementary-aged girls and bought this book hoping it would help me communicate with other adults in their lives in a productive manner. Mrs. Wiseman injects humor, incorporates real-life stories from parents across the country and provides step by step how-to strategies for dealing with difficult situations. While you might have moved on from 7th grade you will be amazed by the number of folks who have not and these include your children's teachers, coaches, friend's parents, etc. At the very least this book helps you recognize some of the personalities you will encounter.

Some of Us Have Left Seventh Grade Behind

2007-05-29
I am the mother of two first grade children and picked up this book rather reflexively a few weeks ago. I was drawn in by the promise that it would reveal the secrets of all of the weird and labyrinthine social interactions that supposedly plague parents of school-aged kids. I figured it must have something to tell me that I don't already know!

Although I've had my share of questioning my own and other parent's judgement at various moments throughout my children's school experiences (so far preschool through first grade) -- I find that my live-and-learn attitude, and my sense of confidence and practicality just keep my boat afloat. If I screw up, I learn something from it and try to manage things better next time. If someone else screws up, I might stew over it for a while, but ultimately, I just right myself and move on. I guess I just don't have the time or interest to care much about whether there's a queen bee or a superdad around. I figure we're all just people after all and everyone is working from a different set of strengths and weaknesses. What is the big deal?

I mean are we really all fretting over what to wear on "back to school night," or chewing our nails with anxiety when one mother is on a first name basis with the principal while we are still at the smile and nod in the hallways stage with that person?

After reading about 1/2 the book and flipping through the rest trying to find a chapter worth reading but failing at that task -- I finally gave up and realized that maybe -- just maybe -- I just have gotten over 7th grade after all. I'll bet I'm not alone.