Perfect Daughters Revised Edition :: Education by Design Store

Editorial Review

This new edition of Perfect Daughters, a pivotal book in the ACoA movement, identifies what differentiates the adult daughters of alcoholics from other women.

When this groundbreaking book first appeared over ten years ago, Dr. Ackerman identified behavior patterns shared by daughters of alcoholics. Adult daughters of alcoholics-"perfect daughters" -operate from a base of harsh and limiting views of themselves and the world. Having learned that they must function perfectly in order to avoid unpleasant situations, these women often assume responsibility for the failures of others. They are drawn to chemically dependent men and are more likely to become addicted themselves. More than just a text that identifies these behavior patterns, this book collects the thoughts, feelings and experiences of twelve hundred perfect daughters, offering readers an opportunity to explore their own life's dynamics and thereby heal and grow.

This edition contains updated information throughout the text, and completely new material, including chapters on eating disorders and abuse letters from perfect daughters in various stages of recovery, and helpful, affirming suggestions from Dr. Ackerman at the end of every chapter. This book is essential for every one who found validation, hope, courage and support in the pages of the original Perfect Daughters, as well as new readers and every therapist who confronts these issues.

Also includes: a comprehensive reference section and complete index.

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Customer Reviews

Great information

2007-12-11
This book is excellent if you have recently discovered you are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. I read and saw so many of the same problems and characteristics that I had been struggling with. At the end it provided information on what to do next and gave me a very upslifting feel of how things can change for the better.

RIGHT ON!

2007-12-02
I have never read a single "recovery" book with as much information about the many "experiences and issues" I have dealt with in my adult life that began in infancy and sometimes I wonder if they began in the womb! It is one of those books that seems to have been written by the reader themself. I highly recommend it to all women who grew up in dysfunctional families. It speaks in terms of alcoholic parents but many parents who do not drink, exhibit the same behavior and personalities. Though we know we are not unique in this area, it is reassuring to read the stories of other women who have experienced the same things and feelings; to understand ourselves better and that we can turn our experiences, pain, trauma, etc. into assets if we want to live our best lives. To become the person we were meant to be.

Wake Up Call!

2006-11-04
I bought this book through a suggestion from a co-worker. When I received it at work in the mail, I opened the cover, checked out the chapters and turned to one in particular. I read only half the page and broke down crying. The truth is written in these pages. I have given a copy of this book to my sister. I recommend that if you are an adult daughter of an alcoholic parent, that you read this book. It ISN'T your fault, you are a valuable human being and it's about time that YOU take charge of your life. Get strong, face the truth, conquer your fears, find peace within yourself. No one says it's not going to hurt. Facing ourselves is the hardest part. Getting well is the reward. I can let go of the past and learn from it or I could go on holding a grudge. Good-bye Mom, sorry you were so sick from alcoholism. Hello new life, I am reborn. I am a wonderful human being. Thanks to this book I can say these things. It will take time to heal, but I have a new start because my eyes have been opened and I don't want to make the choices I've made in the past. I don't have to make those choices anymore, I am set free from the truth of my "brainwashing" of childhood.

Perfect Daughters

2006-02-24
This book was so helpful with it's insight into the experience of having an alcoholic parent. It is written well, easy to follow and answers questions you didn't even know you had. I highly recommend this book to anyone, but especially to people like myself who are at the beginning of their quest for the truth and don't want to read a book that feels too clinical and complicated.

A cheesy way to earn a living

2006-02-21
Having recently come to understand the role of my alcoholic parents' habits in my development as an adult, I have been seeking every possible source for information and strategies for dealing with my own behavior problems. I have found some wonderful sources -- Janet Woititz' books, for example. I had high hopes for this book, Perfect Daughters since I am such a freak but what I got was a book written in large print, at a level merely approaching 6th grade, that is 40% this man's clients' letters. His analysis is facile and offers nothing new. Yes, we all feel this way; yes we all share certain qualities, but anyone who's done only minimal research will discover this very soon. This book offers nothing new. I feel ripped off by the book's "promises", insulted by the writers' tone and plethora of marginally relevant quotations clearly pasted from quotes.com. Don't buy this book; check it out of the library and get what good you can from it. There is some there, but not $10 worth.

The Perfect Daughter

2004-01-17

This new edition of Perfect Daughters, a pivotal book in the ACoA movement, identifies what differentiates the adult daughters of alcoholics from other women.

Also includes: a comprehensive reference section and complete index.

An epiphany of understanding!

2002-07-23
While my family was not one of staggering drunks and physical or overt verbal abuse, this books sheds light on why I feel the way that I do! It's easy to get turned off at first by the overt drunks experiences of many of the people's stories presented here if you yourself didn't experience that. The MOST valuable part of the book is a look at different personality traits that you may have developed during your not-so-normal childhood. This books points out the positive things that ACoA's have learned from their experiences and how to use those to our greatest advantage, while understanding and working on some of the traits we developed that are not useful to us as adults. I highly recommend this book - and that you read it several times!

Barely useful

2001-11-21
Because my parents were not falling-down drunks, did not pass out before I came home from school or abuse me in the usual dramatic and overt ways, it was many years before I saw that the lack of complex, deep and interested parenting contributed to my aimlessness and confusion. Ackerman focuses on individuals whose childhoods were mainly marked by, I guess you'd call it, SEVERE alcoholism.

Nor is this book is well written, the information could probably be better presented as the charts and graphs he wants to interpret. But it's still not very useful information.

I just can't get into the perennial victim space; maybe that's why it falls short for me. On the other hand, I absolutely display the evidence of an "adult child...": I have no children (and no desire); finally made a late in life marriage that is failing now, attraction to all the wrong sorts and an ingrained tendency to want to please everyone all the time.

Interesting bits in the book, but too much heavy mining for me.

An excellent book for adult children of alcoholics 2001-01-17
This book is excellent. It has brief sections that talk about different aspects of the adult child's personality. It also offers simple questions to ask yourself to see which parts pertain to you. This book is imformative and simple to read.

An Eye-opening Book 2000-09-28
This book really hit home. I have read many books for children of alcoholics, but I feel this one was written right for me. It was so wonderful to know that others share some of my feelings and had similar experiences. I sent the book to my two sisters.