Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship

Editorial Review

Most people think that poor communication is the reason why so many relationships end, but it's actually the way we learn to think about our partners and our problems that kills trust, erodes intimacy, and cripples communication. In Why Can't You Read My Mind?, psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein reveals-for the first time-the nine toxic thought patterns at work in virtually every relationship, and shows couples how these distorted, negative, exaggerated thoughts can poison their love and end their union. With warmth and wisdom, Bernstein offers a simple yet powerful approach for breaking the toxic thinking cycle and helps readers establish new and more positive thinking habits for solving their problems and dealing with the stresses of everyday life. Packed with practical advice and valuable insights, Why Can't You Read My Mind? makes it possible for couples to remain in or return to loving relationships permanently, and points the way toward finding a truer kind of love with one another for the first time. Perfect for couples wanting to maintain their loving relationship as well as for those working to restore their love, this book provides the missing link, enabling couples to beat the relationship odds and sustain a long-term relationship.

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Customer Reviews

Just what I was looking for! I wish I had read it sooner!

2008-06-03
This was such a well written and easy to read book. So often, relationship guidance is written in a style which seems to be meant for fellow therapists. This book used humor and everyday language and situations to efficiently get the points across. There is enough repetition of the advice, but not too much. I will end up reading it again and recommending it to my friends.

Truly Life Changing and Relationship Saving

2008-05-08
Dr. Bernstein has captured the essential elements not only to rebuilding and strengthening a fractured relationship, but really to live a happier life. All it takes is an open mind, and a little dedication to the process, and by reading and practicing the simple tips outlined, you can truly transform the quality of your life. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anybody who would like to improve their relationship with their spouse/partner. What you gain from reading this book is not just a profound improvement in your primary relationship, but a way to create happier, balanced relationships with other people in your life as well. These are practical, real tips that can be applied to everyday situations (I've even improved the quality of my worklife by discovering how negative I was, and how my toxic thoughts were impairing so many areas outside of my relationship issues).

The Best, Most Practical Self Help Book on Relationships

2007-10-13
This excellent book, written by family therapist Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein, is practical, easy-to-follow, and a quick read. Although it is not an instant panacea for relationship ills it did make me recognize my own (negative) contributions to my relationship with my husband and, later, with other, less integral people in my life. Be open-minded, willing to learn, and spend the time and thought to do the exercises honestly. I read this book prior to choosing Dr. Jeff as a therapist and cannot speak highly enough about him. (Yes, I am fortunate enough to live in the same area as his practice!)

excellent title!!

2007-08-10
This book is really helpful and right on target. It seems so many people try to have magical mind reading abilities and this book helps to sort that fantasy out!! Particularly useful to give to others to read as a gift!!

Changed my life

2006-08-25
This is the most amazing book I have ever stumbled across. It not only gave me a new perspective on love and relationships but I was able to incorporate the logic of it into all areas of my life. I've recommended it to friends left and right. This is definitely a must read.

This Book Saved My Marriage!

2006-04-20

Best relationship book I've read

2005-06-05
I buy far too many self help books but this one was the most practical and eye opening regarding how one can develop destructive patterns of relating to your partner (or anyone, for that matter) and how perception plays a key role in all of negative and irrational behavior. He give practical methods for countering these irrational thoughts and thus have a better relationship with both your partner and yourself. I really needed this book and feel it may lead me to finally have a successful relationship leading to a happy marriage. My irrational thoughts and behavior have so often sabotaged me in my relationships up to this point. I highly recommend this book!

Very eye-opening!!

2005-03-04
This book really makes you take a look at how you are contributing to the problems in your relationship, I found myself saying "wow, i do that"....A LOT. For me, and i would guess most people when they are having relationship problems get to a point where they think they have done everything they can to fix it....when really we do just the opposite. I always considered myself extremely giving and open and my partner totally selfish, and reading this book made me realize how selfish i am. I think this book is a great tool for looking at our own behavior..Also, it gives plenty of great examples and ways to improve.

Fabulous

2003-11-05
What can I say - it was excellent - I think everyone can learn about themselves and improve - I have read many books like this but none as helpful!!!!!! It will save your relationship!!!!!! Dont walk!!!! Run to buy this book!!!!

It Works!

2003-11-04
I agree with the first reviewer, it's crazy, but this book really does make a difference and fast. I learned that I'm a Blame thinker and an All or Nothing thinker when it comes to my relationship. The scary thing is, negative thoughts about my fiance, who won't move forward and set a date, are very automatic. I'm working now to break the habit. I'm glad I read this book.