Surviving a Borderline Parent. How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self Esteem

Editorial Review
Although relatively common, Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it.

Symptoms of this tragic problem include unpredictability, violence and uncontrollable anger, deep depression and self-abuse. Parents with BPD are often unable to provide for the basic physical and emotional needs of their children. In an ironic and painful role reversal, BPD parents can actually raise children to be their caretakers. They may burden even very young children with adult responsibilities. They tend to demand unreasonable levels of emotional and material support from those least able to provide it. Plagued by irrational fears and anxieties, BPD parents often transfer feelings of self-hatred onto their children. salting the wounds inflicted by their insatiable need with constant denigration and abuse.

If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood was a volatile and painful time. This book, the first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder. Learn what psychological criteria are necessary for a BPD diagnosis and identify the specific characteristics your parent presents. Discover specific coping strategies for dealing with issues common to children of borderline parents: low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity. Make the major decision whether to confront your parent about his or her condition.
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Customer Reviews

Nearly every page is "AHA!"

2008-01-12
This book, "Surviving a borderline parent" is rapidly speeding up the process that I started 12 years ago of normalizing myself. Now, at 31, I think I am only half way through the process. This book is highlighting aspects of my personality that I would eventually have figured out were caused by my parents. Each page will take a week or so to absorb and ponder, but that is still faster than I was figuring it out myself.

Gives an adult language and rational structure to painful childhood memories

2007-12-02
My parents both suffered from BPD. I had no idea they did (although it had been suggested to me by a friend who is a psychiatrist) until I read this book shortly after it was published. There it all was -- the hidden shame and torment of being the child-parent to angry, volatile, hateful, self-destructive, self-centered parents. I never understood what it meant to have my own opinions and wishes. I had lived forty plus years in survival mode until I sought therapy. Thank heavens for this book -- it may rescue another generation of children trapped in these families.

A worthwhile book

2007-11-23
I'd purchased this book after it was suggested that my parent may have this condition. The book is filled with brief case studies and comments from children of borderline parents. I found that I was able to relate to many of the cases and, on more than one occasion, was brought to tears as I realized there were others out there feeling the same as me. I'm glad I made this purchase as it helped me on many levels.

Live Saver

2007-10-03
If you were raised by parents that for what ever reason were not able to nuture you as a child and you are interested in personal growth this is the book for you! This book is my bible.

Amazing!

2007-09-27
This book was so-o-o well written. It is very sympathetic and non-judgemental towards the children of Borderline parents - it gives them (us) hope for a better life through exercises and new ways of thinking about ourselves and the world.

Excellent source for personal insight and counseling therapists

2008-06-23
At last, a voice and a reasoning to make sense of the chaos, drama, physical, emotional violence of my parents and my own inner dialogue as an adult from this toxic environment. If you are willing to do the work and wish not to repeat the family dynamics, this is the book to guide you.
One of the best resources written on this subject; gets to the heart of the issues from all aspects and provides a mental and emotional reprieve from the pain.

The title of the book is very descriptive of the text

2008-06-10
For those who have suffered for years and not found help because not much was known and the illness had no name until the last 25-30 years, this is a very practical handbook.

Very Helpful

2008-03-05
I actually HAVE Borderline Personality Disorder and ran across this book in searching for others to help me learn more about the disorder. I have 2 young boys and am determined not to let my problems become a part of who they are and damage them but I couldn't find a book that dealt with how to be a good mother in spite of BPD so I read this book to see what children who were raised with a borderline parent had to go through so that I could avoid those pitfalls. Thankfully I was able to correct some behaviors I didn't even know I was doing, before I harmed my babies emotionally. Maybe the authors of this book would consider writing a book for those of us trying to do better while being a parent, maybe "How to Parent, when you have BPD" or something like that? Anyway also I wanted to add that my mother who has a mother with Bipolar also found this book VERY helpful.

So much sense and validation....clearly written.

2008-02-14
I carry this book around with me in my purse because it feels like a good friend I've been searching for, for 50 years who finally understands. Very helpful, I am finally hopeful about living the rest of my life with joy in it.

GREAT BOOK

2008-01-19
I loved this book...it was if someone had written my life story! I loved it so much I bought my brother a copy as well!