Adopting the Hurt Child. Hope for Families With Special Needs Kids . A Guide for Parents and Professionals

Customer Reviews

very helpful

2008-09-03
I thought this book provided valuable insights and gave good real life examples. I would recommend this book for anyone adopting an older child.

Resource for all parents

2008-02-09
This book contained things that I think all parents should know about dealing with kids and thier baggage. I have refered back to this when dealing with situations with my special needs child, if only to know that I am not alone in my struggles.

I really like this book!

2006-12-21
This book was very helpful. It helped me even though I haven't ever adopted. It helped me understand hurting kids more. I will buy this book! I would like to adopt older kids when I'm married. Besides I have known several foster/adopted kids. It helped me understand them.

finally

2006-06-08
I read this book twice I liked it so much. I found many books minimized the struggle of raising adopted children and focussed too much on only the positive. Although I have not raised any adopted children myself I do plan on it after I finish university. After reading many books I knew it couldn't be as flowery as they put it. Although I am sure no book could truly prepare anyone for the realities of raising childeren it can help you understand where things are comming from. If nothing else I have a greater respect for the adoptive family because of this book!!!

Dead-on

2005-03-03
My wife and I adopted a 5 and 7 yr old from Russia in Sept 2004. They have been diagnosed as mildly RAD, but RAD nonetheless. RAD is Reactive Attachment Disorder for those of you just beginning a path to adoption of older children. I can say from first-hand experience of the past six months that what Keck has written is true, verified and helpful in many ways. I would highly recommend this as a read while you are CONSIDERING adopting older children, domestic or otherwise. It is best to be prepared and accepting of the conditions that you will likely face before you suddenly realize what's going on with your child(ren). Between Keck and Nancy Thomas (When Love is Not Enough), your preparation for dealing with the behaviors that will sooner or later emerge will be rewarded in your ability to maintain some sanity in your home. You are also welcome to view our online story at http://www.hakpenguin.com/adoption_news.cfm

A Landmark Book on Attachment & Adoption

2002-11-26
Discover the grim truths and real hope that hurting children can be healed through adoptive and foster parents, social workers, and others who care. Includes information on foreign adoptions.

It tells it the way it is!

2002-10-27
This is an excellent book and a must for anyone considering fostering or adopting a child older than the age of one. Before getting our first set of foster children (sibling group of 4) I could not make it half way through the book, because it upset me so much. I just could not believe that it was really like they said it was. IT IS EXACTLY LIKE THEY SAID IT WAS! After having the chilren a couple of months I read the book through being able to relate to everything they said. It is all extremely sad, but true. And if anyone wants to help these children , they must be aware of their needs so they can meet them. Love is just not enough. I had a friend, who has adopted 8 children, tell me that before our endeavor, and I did not believe her. Now I know she is right and now I listen to every word of advice she can give me. This book will open your eyes to the sad, hard truth. Read it and weep, but it WILL prepare you to understand and help these children. I wish everyone the very best and when you get discouraged, ask yourself if that child would have been better off if they had never come into your home. I am sure your answer will be "NO." And when you are done with the book, give it to your social worker to read. Of course they could never completely understand until they have fostered or adopted themselves, but it is a start.

Hits the issues right!!

2002-07-18
This book was an excellent source for adoption of the older, hurt child. I couldn't wait for my husband to read it so we could discuss the topics covered. I feel this book took a very realistic approach to the issues hurt-adoptive children may have. They also clearly noted that people are individual, as well as children are individual. Working closely with knowledgable therapists is also noted many times as being necessary and helpful.

Review by Adoptive Mom

2001-08-27
Adoptive mom of 2 girls placed at ages 6&11, summer of '00. I've read most every book on parenting older adopted children, and this is the one I continually refer back to. It was helpful prior to placement to tell us what behavior to expect, and particularly helpful after placement, to reassure us that acting-out behaviors are often grief related, and how to handle tantrums, etc. with TLC. Buy it. Keep it for reference.

Don't Read This One First

2001-01-31
I read this book from cover to cover in one sitting - and then spent a very sleepless night. I am an adoptive mother of 4 and my husband and I are currently in the process of an older child, domestic adoption. I really found the title to be misleading, because I kept looking for the HOPE in the book, but found more terror. I'm very glad I didn't read this book before adopting the 4 we have. I do think that reading the book helped me know what questions to ask during the case study review process and that it will help us know what we're getting into.