Take Back Your Kids. Confident Parenting in Turbulent Times

Editorial Review
Childhood may be changing, but todays cable-ready, all-too-worldly kids are still just kids and should be treated that way. William J. Doherty does not want to recreate childhood as it was in simpler times, he merely wants to help parents adapt to the changes and create an even better future. Dohertys new book, Take Back Your Kids, offers a blueprint to do just that.

Too often, Doherty believes, parents merely provide services and opportunities for children, who in turn consider themselves "consumers of parental services." Hierarchy has diminished. Parents regularly make sacrifices in time and money they perceive to benefit their children. Take Back Your Kids shows occasionally saying no to a childs wish, denying a costly and time-consuming opportunity, allows for more meaningful family moments together at meals, church services and volunteer activities.

Take Back Your Kids gives parents a clear picture of what they should expect from themselves and their children. Doherty describes the skills necessary to be a confident parent--the importance of firm boundaries on behavior, an understanding of when to be flexible, and the courage to express constructive anger and endure the consequences. A good parent may be unpopular from time to time, but children respect and appreciate the exercise of authority in the context of loving family relationships.

Doherty concedes that maintaining those relationships may be difficult amid modern media distractions and fractured families. Take Back Your Kids describes how to monitor media exposure in a culture of constant television and Internet-literate eight-year-olds. He explains why responsible fatherhood may be the most untapped resource in raising children. And he offers advice for co-parents, single parents and step-parents alike to transcend their individual situations and discover the path to loving, respectful and productive relationships with their children.
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Customer Reviews

A splendid book

2000-10-05
This is a splendid book about how to stop hurrying your kids, focussing on all the wrong things, and getting back to solid parenting, paying attention to the values that matter. It is funny, intelligent, thoughtful, and a must read.

Where was this book 22 years ago?

2000-07-26
I wish someone had handed me this book before my first child was born. Dr. Doherty states what many child-rearing "experts" should say, but don't: it's good for kids to have limits, it's okay for parents to expect respect and other contributions to the family from children, and parents have to set the example in showing respect and love for each other and the kids, respect for the family, and an example of what they want their children to become. I can't wait for Dr. Doherty's forthcoming book, "Take Back Your Marriage." "The Intentional Family" is also wonderful and emphasizes the role of family traditions.

TAKE BACK YOUR KIDS

2000-04-10
I thought the book was excellent. As a single parent I feel this book will be a companion of mine as I raise my son. How important it is for our children to learn about respect for their parents and their family. I, too, am guilty of some of the mistakes the author mentioned in the book but am thankful that I now have a book to guide the way. We as parents, especially single parents have to get away from the guilt that we feel when we can't provide our children with everything they want. To teach a child respect is an invaluable gift every child should receive.

Every Parent Should Read This!

2000-03-18
This is one of the most direct and honest books I've ever read about raising children in "turbulent times." The author, William Doherty, gives parents helpful, and sometimes shockng insights into how they have contributed to their children's self-centered, entitled attitudes. As the mother of three kids, I was surprised to see myself on so many pages. But Doherty doesn't stop there. He tells us how we can become more confident and secure parents in a me-centered society. His eleven strategies for expecting and getting respect from our children is indispensible and has already been used with positive results in my own family. Every chapter helped me to see more clearly as a parent and gave me the strength to stay firm with my children when it comes to their responsibility to family, school and society. Thank you, Mr. Doherty for giving me back my kids.

A Must Read for Every Parent

2007-01-03
Mr. Doherty does a wonderful job of helping parents understand why they feel so compelled to register their children for every class, lesson, sporting activity, acting lesson and every other opportunity that is packaged and marketed to families. Understanding that children are not consumers of parenting services, helps us understand that children should be allowed to be children, looking to strong, confident parents for boundaries and values. This book points out that the most important thing in your child's life will not be how many trips to Disneyland you provide, or how many weekends your family gave up to travel with the select soccer team. Rather it reminds us that the best gift parents can give their children is the gift of parents who have a committed, loving relationship, and who are willing to take time to be with their chidren creating strong connections and rituals that make children feel safe and secure. This book does not lay a heavy dose of "family values" on you, rather it tells you that you, the confident parent, are in charge of how your children will grow up. It also helps one to understand that confident parenting will result in your children growing up to be well-adjusted, confident adults. I recommend this for everyone!

Clear Thinking on Parenting

2003-05-17
Let me share a short story about why this book made such good sense to me.

I have two friends, who I'll call Candace and Mary. Candace is the kind of mom who jumps every time her daughter says boo, no matter how demanding or rude the request. Mary, on the other hand, was less 'conscientious.' Her husband was, at times, downright gruff with their kids when they got obnoxious. I always assumed that Candace, because she worked so much harder, was the better mother. Then one day it hit me like a bolt of lightning: Candace's daughter was a whiny, unhappy little girl, whereas Mary's were much happier.

For some reason, many parents of my generation feel we must give our children our constant, undivided attention, must protect them from all forms of disappointment, and never, ever be angry with them. Doherty shows why that's a recipe for disaster. He looks at these misconceptions and gives good, sensible guidance. Probably one of the best parenting books I've ever read.

Great Book on Parenting 2001-12-31
Some of the topics discussed in this book

The Consumer Culture of Childhood
Being a Confident Parent in an Insecure World
Activvating Necessary Skills for Effective Parenting
Strategies for Expecting and Getting Respect
Family Time and a Child's Own Life
What's So Important About Gamily Rituals
The Importance of Family Work
Why Anger-Free Parenting Does Not Work
How to Express Anger Constructively
Responsibilities to a Religious Congregation
How to Work as a Team Raising Responsible Children
Father as Consultant on Morals and Social Behavior
How to be an Influential Father
Guidelines and Strategies for Single Parents
Achieving Confident Parenting in Stepfamilies
Unplugging Your Kids: Media & Child Rearing
Resisting the Peer Cultures of Children and Parents

Should Be Required Reading 2001-06-27
This book should be required reading for anyone who thinks he or she wants children. As a parent who feels like she's struggling upstream against a tide of other, more permissive parents, it was a relief to read a book that validates my own approach. As parents struggle to provide a multitude of opportunities for their children, we often lose sight of what our children really need to develop into responsible, caring adults. Dr. Doherty's book quickly sets out what our priorities should be and how we should accomplish them.

Highly, highly recommended 2001-01-27
This is one of THE best parenting books out there. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Doherty. So insightful, so helpful. A must for all parents. Very easy to read, couldn't put it down, and will be refering to it time and time again through the years. I look so forward to reading his other books.