Editorial Review
An in-depth study of the vital principles from the best-selling Cracking the Communication Code now in workbook form.
Communication between couples has been dissected in thousands of books and articles so why does it remain the number one marriage problem? "Because," says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "most spouses don't know that they speak two different languages. They are sending each other messages in 'code,' but they won't crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect." Dr. Eggerichs' best-selling book, Love and Respect, launched a revolution in how couples relate to each other. Now with the Cracking the Communication Code companion workbook, the message of this hardcover trade book can be studied and applied whether for a group or for individual couples. The result will be better communication, mutual understnding, and a successful godly marriage.
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Customer Reviews
too wordy 
2008-09-09
The book has valid ideas & they work; only it is so wordy that it takes a long time to get to the point.
YOUR MATE 
2008-08-11
It was a bit repetitive of his first book, so if you've read Love and Respect, it's a great review too.
Recommended for all couples! 
2008-06-29
This is an expansion of his book Love & Respect, so I recommend listening to/reading that one first, but if you don't he gives a recap. It seems redundant, but the principles are something we all need ingrained into us. My husband and I are a perfect match - we matched on [...] , but our relationship went to a new level while I was listening to these CDs. Eggerichs' principles are straight out of scripture so they work! He sets aside the myths and roles that society has created about men and women and gets back to how God created us to be and to interact. He amazingly does so without offending who we are as women but uplifting us.
Communication 101 for Christian Couples 2008-06-25
"The key to motivating another person is meeting that person's deepest need - love for her and respect for him!" ~ pg. 134
Whether you are in a fairly good marriage or in one that is falling apart, "Cracking the Communication Code" has a lot to offer. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs backs up his points with plenty of scripture references and gives advice based on wisdom gained from experience. He places an emphasis on listening, decoding, forgiveness, unconditional love and being thankful for your spouse. The main sections of the book include:
A Summary of the "Love & Respect" book authored by Dr. Emerson
Three Vital Truths for Better Communication
The Crazy Cycle: A Relentless Enemy of Marital Communication
The Energizing Cycle: To Better Communicate, Meet Your Spouse's Need
The Rewarded Cycle: The Unconditional Dimension of Communication
Dr. Emerson explains how couples get into cycles and shows how you can escape destructive patterns by showing respect and love. If you are fighting all the time then you are spending most of your time in the "Crazy Cycle." Couples who are giving love and respect are in the "Energizing Cycle." For those fighting to save their marriage through unconditional love, the "Rewarded Cycle" shows the way to conflict resolution and reconciliation.
This book is filled with inspiring stories of couples who have used these teachings to their advantage. At the end of the book there is a special section for couples who want to improve their relationship by speaking to each other as Jesus would. Imagining Jesus standing next to your partner can be a way to monitor your speech.
Most of the advice is for couples who want to learn to speak each other's language and who want to avoid fights. I did not feel that this book would be as useful in a very abusive relationship where someone is in danger. This is mostly for couples who are willing to work at their marriages together, although there is plenty of advice for anyone seeking to save their marriage on their own.
~The Rebecca Review
Cracking the Communication Code 2008-06-13
This book is just as amazing as Eggerich's first book Love & Respect. I really enjoyed this book because it went a lot more into depth about communicating with your spouse. The point that really got me thinking is that we are not loving and respecting our spouse because we just feel like it but we are actually loving and respecting our spouse because we love God and are choosing to obey what he commands in Ephesians. When we love or respect our spouse we are choosing to obey God and we are choosing to serve Him in our marriage through the good times and difficult times too. Unconditional respect is a very difficult decision for a wife who has always been taught that people should earn our respect. I know that if I choose each day to unconditionally respect my spouse I will remain on the reward cycle because his need for respect will be met and he will want to fulfil my need for love.
I recommend every single and married person to read Love and Respect and follow that reading with this book, Cracking the Communication Code.
Excellent material 2008-05-25
An in-depth study of the vital principles from the best-selling Cracking the Communication Code now in workbook form.
Communication between couples has been dissected in thousands of books and articles so why does it remain the number one marriage problem? "Because," says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "most spouses don't know that they speak two different languages. They are sending each other messages in 'code,' but they won't crack that code until they see that she listens to hear the language of love and he listens to hear the language of respect." Dr. Eggerichs' best-selling book, Love and Respect, launched a revolution in how couples relate to each other. Now with the Cracking the Communication Code companion workbook, the message of this hardcover trade book can be studied and applied whether for a group or for individual couples. The result will be better communication, mutual understnding, and a successful godly marriage.
Most Closely Follows the Teaching Seminar 2008-03-13
If you've attended Emerson Eggerichs' Love and Respect marriage seminar and want to recommend one of his books to a friend (or review the material on your own), but haven't read either Love and Respect or CCC, Cracking the Communication Code most closely parallels the marriage seminar (and/or the Love and Respect DVD of the seminar). I recommended CCC to a friend, rather than L&R because I could give her a more knowledgeable recommendation - in other words, if it's anything like the L&R seminar, it's going to revolutionize your marriage.
I am very impressed with how balanced the presentation is - many marriage books I've read, and counseling my husband and I have received over the years, always reinforced my role as the more loving (and therefore better) spouse, and my husband was the one who really needed to change. The L&R seminar and CCC made me see how I also contribute to issues in the marriage (whether I mean to or not), and helped me understand my husband's point of view (reminding me that he is good-willed at heart - afterall why did we get married in the first place?), and helped me look for, see, and attempt to better meet his deepest needs. Our culture is very Love-based, and we seem to see a man's need for respect as a bad thing - arrogance, male ego, male chauvinism... etc, without understanding that being respected for who he is, despite his performance, is what makes a man feel valued, and makes him act more loving.
Of course, I'm speaking as the wife, but my husband says, "For the first time in our marriage, I understand, and I now have practical tools I can use to better meet your needs."
If you ever have a chance to view the DVD series or attend a seminar, you should try - Emerson is hilarious and so absolutely nails men and women and how we relate (or don't) to one another. It's definitely a "spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down" delivery - laughing at yourself as you are stabbed to your core with the truth.
Fantastic sequel to Love & Respect 2007-11-15
This series (Love & Respect and Cracking the Communication Code) are very convictng and life changing. Highly recommended.
Very good book, but a bit long-winded 2007-06-27
I read Emerson's previous book "Love And Respect" 7 times, just because it was so good and it touched my heart deeply. The principles in his book are so profound and important that it was no surprise that Emerson decided to write a follow-up book called "Cracking the Communication Code: The Secret to Speaking Your Mate's Language". The material in this book goes into great detail about the inner workings of conflict and Emerson picks apart typical marital arguments and shows the reader exactly the dynamics that are at play.
I give this book 4 stars instead of 5 because it is rather long-winded in places and because this book comes across to me as Emerson's exhaustive exposition and commentary on the core principles and crux of the "Love And Respect" book. In other words, there isn't a lot of NEW material.
Having said that, I don't want to discourage anyone from reading this book. If you haven't read either of these two books, then I'd suggest the "Love And Respect" book first, but if you buy this one, you get a "mini-Love And Respect" recap "book-within-a-book" in the first few chapters.
Good job Emerson! I would love to attend one of your conferences when you are in my area!
Inspiring book. 2007-05-12
After reading the book, I realize that marriage is a spiritual path. Marriage is a relationship that tests me to reach a higher spiritual plane and to connect with God. I really liked Emerson's prayer of commitment. I don't normally buy Christian books and I had to "decode" a few things for myself to so I could relate to it, but after reading it, I have more appreciation for the nature of man and the nature of woman and how to respect and appreciate our differences. I also have more appreciation for the teachings of Jesus. Thank you Emerson!
