Tia and her friends and the mission(part one)
Author: Lucy
From: Northampton, United Kingdom
Age: 12
Date: 30th Mar 2002, 6:23 AM
Rating: 4
Comment: Correct spelling and punctuation would help your stroy read a lot better. I got a bit confused in some parts like when they were getting shown the gadgets - not a full stop (period) in sight! Editor.
Title: Tia and her friends and the mission(part one)
Two children sat in the pristine dining room kitchen. A boy looking uncomfortable and swinging his feet aimlessly. Then a girl who was average for her age sighed and looked up.
“Do you have to do that you bruised my ankle, are you listening? Oh sometimes I wonder why you are my best mate. I mean..”
The girl started moaning and the boy took out his earphones and said.
“Chill out where is Kissy?”
“It is Kisia and here she is.”
A long haired girl with exotic clothes on came in.
“Hey Tia. oh I see you are here Keith.”
The girl shifted and pulled the neat chair out and quietly said.
“So Tia why did you call?”
Tia tossed her blond hair and said.
“What?Oh that I got this letter from my Uncle in London he wants to see us today.“
The boy Keith smiled and his black eyes were alert.
“You mean that cool one?”
“Uh huh. Mum called your parents and they said a day or two would do us good. Mum has a case your parents bought round. Come on.”
Kissy as her nickname was gave a grin and grabbed her plush red coat and scarf and Keith pulled on his wooly fleece and hat. Tia grabbed her favourite coat and a black scarf with stars on it and a matching hat.
Hours later a man escorted them to a skyscraper that they had never seen before. In the office was a man who wearlily said.
“I have a quest for you three seeing as you are good friends and such. In the village of Hangton I dicovered a man who said that he and his daughter were in danger and they disapeared and every country a father and daughter have disapeared. I need you to solve this there are some gadgets. The bubblegum that can stay like rubber. Rubbergum we call it. Chew and put somewhere and a leak is stopped also bug detecters and this chain with tracker if you are suspicious pop it on the person and see where they go using this palmtop and also high speed mini jetpacks and my favourite two, pogo boots and suction shoes. Press the enter three times in a row on the palmtop if you need help here are some notes good luck.”
Then they were escorted out in shock.
The next day Keith and Tia and a yawning Kissy left the hotel and got to the airport. Then Keith said.
“There are two R133 planes going at ten which one? The Transalvania or the um oh Iceland?”
Readers I want you decide in the authors corner what happens. What do you want?
Transalvania?
Or Iceland?
The winner will be in the authors corner in two weeks so get voting and call your vote The vote for Lucy that way no one gets confused.
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