The Powers that be part four
Author: Steve
From: Durham, United Kingdom
Age: 13
Date: 3rd Apr 2002, 5:46 AM
Rating: 5
Comment: Steve, you need to create some continuity between your chapters so as not to confuse the reader. ie in ch.3 the characters are going to sleep, but where are they at the start of ch 4. It's important to present the settings at the start of a chapter.
Editor
Title: The Powers that be part four
Stephos opened a mystical book called ‘Aspirascend’. It had a magical seal that could only be broken by Stephos. He placed his part of the crest into the hole where it fitted perfectly and then placed Samathios’s crest part into the slot resembling her Spirit temple, it fitted there perfectly. On the map a door opened at the entrance to the temple.
As Stephos started to close the book, a magic glowing item rised from the Shadow temple slot, Stephos knew what it meant, it meant that the powers in the Shadow temple are growing stronger. Stephos then saw a hologram of four pieces of the Shadow Crest in its slot. Someone else has the pieces of Shadow. If the holder’s heart is evil then the powers can grow and collect then, maybe conquer. He knew he will have to be quick in finding the other descendants of the great Protectors and collect their powers from the crests they will seek to collect. There’s not much time left.
Stephos pulled out a large Grey box from under his bed and removed a large crystal. He hoped that the crystal might guide him. “Mystical crystal of the ‘Realm of Angreas’, please guide me against the dark forces. They now grow strong, I fear felony quite near and sense conspicuous substances, surrounding slowly and gathering. Two of five have been revealed and the one is in vain.”
“Do not worry, I am now strong enough to reveal the other three descendants of the Protectors. Gaze inside me and they all will be revealed as their forms that roam inside their temples. In the cloaks of their ancestors they will be, so that you may have knowledge of the part they need to play,” harmonically chimed the voice of the crystal.
“I will look into thee and hope my eyes do not deceive my mind’s first thoughts.” Stephos thought aloud. Stephos gazed further into the crystal to see the other three.
Who are the other three?
What will Stephos do?
Find out in part five.
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