If I do

Author: Aimee
From: Brighton, Other
Age: 14
Date: 22nd Mar 2004, 4:10 PM
Rating: Not yet rated
Comment:
Title: If I do

A note scrawled down, etched with pain and sealed with tears of blood,

I place it on the floor, easily unveiled by the chair you will sit on. Just enough shows...

My mind races with fear, with anticipation, and with dread,

I wonder how you will react, or if you already know...



For these pills I've gulped down within your vision,

I was screaming inside, praying you'd listen.

As I swallowed them; one by one,

I stared at you holding in tears untill I was done.

Gulping. Choking. I had to keep going...

Sweating, shaking, all this time with you knowing...

Too long I've waited for you simply to see,

The hurt; the grief- all that you cause me.



I wait and retreat from the classroom, I feel nothing for your reaction or hurt,

Slinking in to the shadows I sink low and hide, at this point crying,

I hear footsteps- yours and my heart stops,

But only through fear; it's not over yet- though I'm definately dying.



I'm hearing the crash of a glass from your hand,

I'm lying on the floor, I know you don't understand,

You can't see what happened or why,

You wouldnt help me with pain, I just wanted to die.

That I thought was all in the past,

That I'd unlocked the cage- was free at last.

But I guess that so sadly failed to come true,

And these pills are the only way I can prove that to you.



You find me, I think, although It's all a huge haze,

I'm aware of my screams as I'm plagued by the pain.

I take your hand, although it won't save me now,

I just wanted get away- I didn't care how.



You're talking, consoling, as I slowly die,

My heart is growing weaker, and I mutter 'goodbye'.

Goodbye to the pain, to the fear, to you,

Farewell to the misery, to the terror, I'm through!

You ruled my life for so long, caused me too much pain,

Although I regretted my first death attempt, I knew I'd do it again.

Because I'd do anything if you could just somehow understand,

Do you?, I wonder, it was the heart of my plan.

If you do, then I'll want to be saved,

If you don't then let me go- I've made my own grave.



A Storyteller Topic - Feelings
Feeling wonderful? Angry? Lonely? Sad? Don't keep it bottled up inside you - writing is a great way to express how you are feeling - good or bad.

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