Confused due to my feelings....
Author: Anshu
From: Quatre Bornes, Mauritius
Age: 14
Date: 19th May 2004, 7:14 AM
Rating: 3
Comment:
Title: Confused due to my feelings....
I hardly know you, but I don’t know why I feel that I know you for ages. I know nearly nothing about you, except what I heard from outside and yet I feel so close to you. I know that you are not the best choice for me but I can’t seem to have a proper control on my heart. I know, I feel that you have no feelings for me in your heart and yet I do nurture my own feelings, which becomes stronger day by day. I know you don’t give a damn about me, you don’t care what is going on my mind, you do not take my relationship seriously; if that can be called a relationship. for me it’s just more than to have fun, but for you it might be only a pastime. I am aware of all the facts, I am conscious and yet I hope, even if I know it’s futile to hope, although I know that you will never share my feelings. I am confused. I want to know more about you, take a decision, for myself, persuade my heart and control my feelings. I know it’s not easy to know about one’s true character as we all have two characters; one which is our ‘true’ self and the other which we show to others, and the former character can only be identified by people close to you, that, if you want them to know. In my case, I don’t think you wish it. I knew since the very beginning that I had to be careful, not to get so close to you that one day, I would hurt my own feelings. I knew if I tried to approach you even if you have no particular interest in me, I would be hurt later on. I knew everything and yet I acted ‘blindly’.I don’t know for myself where I am. I am so confused, I can’t afford to talk to anyone about my confusion, I feel uneasy and the fear of being misunderstood still remains. I think of you everyday, I feel of talking about you, talking to you and this mere feeling makes me feel good. I live in a dream world I created myself, and the only mistake I did was that I included you in that dream, even if I knew beforehand that I ought not to do it. And now I am here, confused and desperate, not knowing what to do, not even blaming you, as I cannot blame you , as I am aware that it’s solely my mistake, I refused to hear to what my mind said, what someone else close to me said; they both warned me and I knew they were right, but what could I do? It’s hard to explain. I am aware and conscious and yet, even if I know that I must control my heart, my feelings, I don’t do it and I don’t know why. I tread on the path my heart shows me and I don’t act ‘practically’, at least in your case. Yet, I feel happy to have known someone like you, even if I don’t know you, in the true sense. I don’t know how it will end for me but I hope for the better, even if I know that I can’t even hope for anything. Only you can do something, anything, even a mere ‘good bye for ever’ would do….
A Storyteller Topic - Feelings
Feeling wonderful? Angry? Lonely? Sad? Don't keep it bottled up inside you - writing is a great way to express how you are feeling - good or bad.
Read current Feelings stories
Read past Feelings stories
Write about your feelings
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