am i the 'big girl'?
Author: khiltee
From: Quatre-bornes, Mauritius
Age: 13
Date: 19th Aug 2004, 9:36 AM
Rating: 5
Comment:
Title: am i the 'big girl'?
I had celebrated my birthday that day. And since then, I feel that I’m not the same person I used to be. Is it the fact that everybody constantly told me that I’ve grown up now, which had such an impact on me? I now really feel that I’ve grown up. I’ve become a big girl. I’m not the same anymore. I had been looking forward to my birthday, but in a childish manner, I would have loads of gifts, I always thought. But it was all too soon. I was happy, I was growing up, but was I really prepared for that, prepared deep inside myself? Prepared to the idea that together with my age, the attitude people would adopt towards me would differ me, that I’m no longer the little girl, and further more, I would have to change myself, to become more mature. Of course, there were some advantages. The fact that I feel myself having ‘grown up’ makes me more confident in myself. Believe it or not, I was tremendously afraid of werewolves, I was always seeing their eyes glistening in the dark, and their awful, sharp teeth ready to pierce my flesh. I knew that they did not exist, but it was difficult for me to digest it. But now I ‘know’ that they do not exist. I can readily go out in the dark night for a long stroll alone. There is something deep inside me, which tells me that nothing will happen to me. I can find only this as advantage. On the contrary, drawbacks seem to speed in my mind. I’ve lost my sense of humour; I cannot joke, nor laugh. I cannot find my happy-go-lucky nature and enhance my day. I just want to be on my own for some time, although I know I can’t live without my family and my friends. I don’t recognize the person I am now. Where has the other me gone? Wherever she is, I hope she’s coming back soon. The other me was such a wonderful person. And I didn’t realise that. She was cheerful and charming, always there to crack some silly jokes. She was a bit stupid, she always landing in some trouble or other and all the funny things seemed to happen to her only. She was innocent, always a smile on her face. Everybody treated her as the ‘small one’. She was different, although with some drawbacks too.
I did not take time to enjoy each moment that I spent when my character was as such. I did not take time to realize that this period of time was vital, and that I would not get it back. I did not take time to feel deep inside me that, yes I was 13. And now that I’ve realised that, I’ll adapt myself, enjoy each and every moment of it, realise that this period of time is vital, that I will not get it back and feel that I’m 14 now.
A Storyteller Topic - Feelings
Feeling wonderful? Angry? Lonely? Sad? Don't keep it bottled up inside you - writing is a great way to express how you are feeling - good or bad.
Read current Feelings stories
Read past Feelings stories
Write about your feelings
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